Headlines

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT Steve Smith and Cameron Bancroft are reportedly going through emotional turmoil following a weird as fuck 24 hours after admitting to their role in the ball-tampering scandal that has torn the Australian cricket side apart, and disappointed everyone with their weird, juvenile and frankly idiotic actions. Smith was stood down as Australia captain for the remainder of the third...

TRACEY BENDINGER | Social Nuances | Contact The vastness and population of Australia seems to have yet filtered into the minds of our friends across the pond in America. While there are rumours that Americans aren’t interested in any country but their own, Eva Sprawley (25) had an interaction today that might just prove it. Eva, who is road tripping across the United States, told...

TRACEY BENDINGER | Social Nuances | Contact It’s 3:00am on Betoota’s main clubbing strip and renowned extreme sports enthusiast Simon Lewison (27) has just stumbled upon his latest Adrenalin hit. He’s miles away from the OId Quarry BASE Jumping site, but what he’s about to endeavour on is equally as perilous. “Yeah I’ll just have two slices of pepperoni, thanks mate” Simon asked the surprisingly...

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT The people of Brisbane say that while Victorian footy superstar Brendan Fevola might have been a bit too wild for the AFL in his younger years, they always thought he was a mad cunt. Although he is well and truly retired from AFL football, Brisbane City says that Brendan Fevola is a legend and they really feel bad about...

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT A dodgy construction worker, who seems a little bit too eager to tell random blokes stories about his mates committing quite serious felonies, has today brought into question the effectiveness of Queensland Police Force-issued taser guns. Known only as 'Fingers' - the the bloke could be easily between his late thirties and early fifties, and is rarely issued jobs...

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT With the new development of the Golf Course Estate drawing more and more young families to the West Betoota, local plumber Deuce Charles (34) figured it was probably time to sell himself a bit better. His missus, who works in marketing, suggested he try his hand at some marketing. Citing the case study of her old man with his...

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT A local late thirties to early forties work colleague has today used an unfamiliar word to describe how he plans to spend his weekend with a few mates that are visiting. Benjamin Brown (from the accounting department) says it's been a while since him and his mates sat down with a couple cartons of Miller's Chill and put on...

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT A local business that seems to have a fair bit of in-store foot traffic and it's own car park, also has a suspicious lack of signage -leading to many passers by to assume that it's the type of place that you visit when you feel like paying someone to have sex with you. Known only as '22' in the...

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT Executives at Channel 9 have today ordered their talent and cryogenics department to prepare The Voice judge and former pop star, Delta Goodrem, ahead of the much anticipated seventh season of The Voice. The Nine Network has today revealed that the iconic Aussie songstress will be back for a sensational seventh series and can officially announce that she'll be...

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT Almost half the Darwin residents who lost power during Tropical Cyclone Marcus have been reconnected, with clean-up efforts continuing into the working week as locals try to recover from the disastrous storm damage over the weekend. However, one drunken Irish resident has today woken from a boozy St Patrick's weekend bender with a strong case of the grog horrors....