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Dutton Warns Australia’s Left Wing Extremists Have Also Killed 51 Innocent People In NZ

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT Peter Dutton has today come out to correct ASIO boss Mike Burgess’s comments about growing rightwing extremism threats in Australia. Dutton says lefties also conspire to commit terrorist acts and take steroids and wave Australian flags while talking shit about not-white people and eventually killing them only to become martyrs on the internet for their unashamed patriotism and guerrilla warfare tactics...

PM Swiftly Wraps Up Press Conference After NITV Asks Why He Wasn’t Running Water At All Stars

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT Prime Minister Scotty From Marketing has today immediately wrapped up a press conference after being asked why he wasn't sycophantically hanging around any footballers on Saturday night's opening NRL fixture. Morrison's decision to not go anywhere near the Indigenous vs Maori season curtain-raiser was noted by not just Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander people, but also the visitors. Many...

Cost Of Using Renewables Found To Be More Expensive Than Nation Lighting On Fire Every Summer

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT Barnaby Joyce, Craig Kelly, Angus Taylor and a handful of other fossil fuel shills who wouldn't be able to name the president of their local CWA have today launched a new campaign of hysterical climate denialism, triggered by Labor’s decision last week to sign up to a net zero target by 2050. Craig Kelly, Liberal MP and failed furniture salesman...

‘Waiting For A Mate’ Bloke Returns To Public Eye With Man-Of-The-Match All Stars Performance

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT For the first time since 2013, Clinton from 'Waiting For A Mate' is back in the media spotlight, after a stunning two-try performance to lead the New Zealand Maori to a stunning 30-16 come-from-behind victory over the Indigenous All Stars on the Gold Coast. The Waiting For A Mate guy is officially one to watch in the 2020 NRL...

Nation Makes Effort To Take Elbows Off The Table In Tribute To The Late June Dally Watkins

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT Australians who know better are today on their very best manners, as the nation pays tribute to former model and deportment icon June Dally-Watkins, who has died in Sydney yesterday aged 92. Dally-Watkins was awarded the Medal of the Order of Australia for services to business in 1993, in her work teaching thousands of working class and rural...

Men’s Rights Gronk Demands Feminists Praise Men Who Haven’t Unlawfully Taken Another Life

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT A local online commentator who has voluntarily sat sedentary for at least 80% of his adult life, has today condemned the media for their laziness. Jordan Latham (42) says the stats being reported by Australian newspapers regarding domestic violence are completely warped. Because women make shit up. But even, if those stats were true. There's a vast number of men...

“Make Some Mothafuken Noyazz!” Says Unknown Local Hip Hop Group Three Acts Before Touring DJ

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT The Betoota Entertainment centre was last night treated to an array of international musicians, and some incredibly shit local ones, as part of the opening acts for touring big-beat-electronica artist DJ Howsyafather from Manchester, UK. While a Thursday night blow out is not ideal for the greying Gen X ticketholders that fit into that weird Fatboy Slim-esque demographic -...

PM Becomes Inner City Leftie And Listens To Advice Offered By Scientists On Global Emergency

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT In a weird turn of events, Scotty From Marketing is now listening to the advice of experts regarding an issue he knows nothing about, like some sort of filthy leftie. This comes as this pesky coronavirus issue refuses to go away, a bit like the bushfires that he had to fly to Hawaii to stop hearing about. However, in a...

Report: Literally Every Private School Headmaster In The Country Not Getting Much Sleep Tonight

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT Every single current and former headmaster of a religious private schools around Australia are in for an ordinary couple of months, it has been confirmed. This follows the news surrounding the resignation of the controversial headmaster of St Kevin's College in Melbourne, following a 4Corners report into the school's response to the grooming of a student by a former...

Queenslander Now Facing The Horror Of Having To Drive 45 Minutes To See Violent Soho In Byron

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT Local Nerang vinyl-car-wrapper, Alfie Castlemaine is today staring down to the barrel of doing the unthinkable. After 35 years in the Sunshine State, he thinks he might have to drive three quarters of an hour to see Byron Bay for the first time. Having never left Queensland, except for one time when he accidentally crossed the Territory border as a...

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