Politics

Malcolm Turnbull proves he’s human after admitting he farts in bed

17 June, 2016. 13:34 ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact JUST DAYS AFTER THE Courier-Mail reported that the prime minister is a humanoid reptilian sent from the future to enslave us all, Malcolm Turnbull has laughed off the allegations - saying he's 'fully human' and he even farts in bed like normal people do. "The only positive thing that The Courier-Mail does is wrap...

Ginger-Headed Woman In Bright Red Blazer Criticises Minorities For Not Blending In

14 June, 2016. 17:25 CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | Contact A ginger-headed woman dressed in a black skivvy and bright red blazer has today criticised our migrant population for not immediately assimilating into Australian society. Speaking to her nephew's iPhone camera today, The softly spoken megaphone of Australian racism, Pauline Hanson, has come to the defence of the thousands of other Australian's who dress like...

“Look After Our Own Backyard First” Says Man With Burnt Out Commodore In Own Backyard

13 June, 2016. 11:45 CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | Contact Local man, Byron Strut (36) says Australia needs to focus on finding homes for the droves of homeless people on our streets before accepting refugees and asylum seekers. Despite the fact that Mr Strut has not once mowed the entire lawn of his two-acre property in Brisbane's Northern Suburbs, he says Australia needs to...

Barnaby Joyce’s election campaign once again derailed by publicity

10 June, 2016. 12:34 ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact THE DEPUTY PRIME MINISTER is back in the headlines again today after he told some mouthy hornbag down at a New England pub to "piss off" when a quiet discussion about mining got out of hand. Coming in on the burst, Joyce featured alongside political and personal rival Tony Windsor on ABC's Q&A programme...

Local Dad still pretending not to care about son’s earrings, man bun

6 June, 2016. 13:45 ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact AFTER COMING FROM HUMBLE BEGINNINGS, one senior partner at a prestigious Sydney law firm promised his young self that he'd support his children and give them every leg up in life that he never had. That was until his 20-year-old son Matthew came home one afternoon with a series of exotic ear...

Tamworth Edition Of Q&A Postponed After Barnaby Joyce And Tony Windsor Punch On In Car Park

6 June, 2015. 18:34 CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | Contact Deputy Prime Minister Barnaby Joyce and his sworn personal and political rival, Tony Windsor have spent the last 45 minutes 'stinking on' in the Tamworth Town Hall car park, it has been confirmed. This breaking news comes via ABC North-West NSW, who were the first to clarify that tonight's New England edition of Q&A has been pushed...

Elephant-eating MP Robert Borsak reveals he wanted to eat the Cincinnati gorilla

30 May, 2016. 14:34 ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact THE MORE DANGEROUS THE ANIMAL, the tastier the meat. That's the message from embattled NSW MP Robert Borsak, who came under fire this week for shooting then eating an elephant in Zimbabwe. However, the Shooters, Fishers and Farmers party member has revealed today that he wanted to fly to the United States earlier...

Barnaby Joyce Eats Entire Schooner Glass In Tamworth Hotel

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | Contact In what many political analysts are calling a pre-election media stunt, Former Deputy Prime Minister Barnaby Joyce has been photographed eating an entire glass schooner while having lunch at the Freemasons Hotel in Tamworth this morning. Witnesses gasped as the New England MP began to casually take bites out of his beer glass while watching the pub's...

Unregistered Voter Says Politicians Need To Start Listening To People Like Him

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact Believe it or not each election there is a large portion of Australia who aren't really aware there is an election until the very day of it, leaving hundreds of thousands of Australians out in the democratic wilderness if they forget to enroll. One of these voiceless individuals is Jackson Stollz, a 26-year-old-stay-at-home-son, who enjoys...

LNP Unveils New Human Shelving Units For More Efficient Warehousing Of Asylum Seekers

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | Contact Prime Minster Malcolm Turnbull has announced plans to invest $104 million into new shelf storage units for human warehousing on Nauru and in other Australian detention centres. While talking to the media in the Xenophobic hotspot of Mackay this morning, Mr Turnbull confirmed plans to fund the new technology which could see stateless refugees and asylum seekers successfully detained...

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