Politics

LOUIS BURKE | Culture | Contact According to unnamed sources, former Prime Minister and multi-millionaire Malcolm Turnbull, was enjoying his morning of relaxation until receiving a Facebook ‘On this day’ update that reminded him that he used to be Prime Minister. No longer having to pretend he is ‘one of the people’ Malcolm Turnbull was enjoying a glass of Penfolds with his wife Lucy when...

WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT Scott Morrison has fired back in the diplomatic row with Canadian-American actress and model Pamela Anderson today. The Prime Minister was blasted by the Baywatch star for his "smutty" and "lewd" comments about her this week. In response to calls from Anderson to look after Julian Assange and bring him home,  Morrison said earlier this week that he "plenty of...

WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT The country's Opposition Leader has left a group of people standing around awkwardly today. The uncomfortable situation occurred a short time ago when Bill Shorten decided to drop a Season Two Big Bang Theory reference into a conversation with a number of people. Conversing about some federal Labor policy with a couple of staffers and some other Canberra type people,...

WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT The Colaition has today explained to The Advocate why a Federal Independent Commission Against Corruption, or similar watchdog type body isn’t necessary. “Listen here, us blokes don’t have anything to hide, and therefore we don’t need a Federal body to investigate any behaviour that may be deemed suspicious,” said Prime Minister Scott Morrison in his most blokey voice. “Our Federal...

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT The Coalition Government's Nightwatchman has reversed a funding cut to one of Australia's largest hunger-relief organisations, after 'listening to the community'. While making bizarre media appearance on the day time variety program Studio 10 on Monday morning, Mr Morrison said the government had maintained the level of funding for food support services, but that it was now being distributed among three...

WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT in the wake of the latest poor polling numbers, Prime Minister Scott Morrison has rolled into today sporting some new ink. The leader of the Coalition address media this morning, sporting a fresh new sleeve on his left forearm. "You might be wondering why I'm not wearing a suit today," he laughed. "But I treated myself on the Lords Day to...

WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT The country has finally figured out the name of the former NSW Labor Leader this afternoon. This comes after disturbing allegations of inappropriate conduct were aired about the former State Opposition Leader today. With the allegations hanging over his leadership for weeks, an ABC journalist has today issued a damning statement alleging that Luke Foley inappropriately touched her, by sliding his...

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT The Prime Minister has moved to quash any doubts still cast over his 'blokiness' today. Scott Morrison the caretaker PM from the Shire, did so by leaning against his campaign bus in Townsville today and taking a slurp from his protein shake. Taking a smoko break from his busy day of working Australian slang into his campaigning, Morrison decided...

WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT The nation has shaken its head today, as it remembers that Mark Latham was almost elected as the Prime Minister of Australia. This comes after the man responsible for the most famous handshake in Australia history announced that he will be joining the very thin ranks of One Nation this morning. Latham will run for NSW Parliment and lead the state...

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT As Prime Minister Morrison ramps up his usage of words like 'Fair Dinkum' as well as 'Deadset' in an attempt to convince Australian voters that he doesn't own thirteen different pairs of chinos, panic as reportedly set in for the leader of the opposition's equally un-relatable media team. Despite making a career out of calling people grubs before...