Politics

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact The Prime Minister has urged his parliamentary colleagues and to a lesser extent, the nation, to consider what would become of the country's coal industry should a Federal Independent Commission Against Corruption (FICAC) be established. Scott Morrison, who spoke to the media this morning out the front of a Southern Sydney Bunnings Warehouse, said that...

WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT The Federal Resources Ministers has informed The Advocate that he would only like to talk about how many jobs the Adani coal mine will create today. This stance from the Queensland Senator came after he was questioned about why he always seems to look like he was three sheets to the wind the night before. "I'm not here to talk about...

WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT The Federal Resources Minister Matt Canavan has blasted thousands of students involved in nationwide protests today. This comes as huge numbers of school students in cities across the country defied the Prime Minister today and skipped school to protest against the government's stance on climate change. Canavan has slammed the criticism from the nation's school students, telling the kids who...

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT With the resignation of a NSW Labor leader, and whispers surrounding a number of other left wing politicians, as well as the current Geoffrey Rush defamation trial - the nation's inner city elite are now on par with AFL fans as Australia's most staunch apologists for sexual harassment. In fact, so engrained is the culture of sexual entitlement...

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact The Federal something of the nation, Josh Frydenberg, opened a joint press conference this morning with the Prime Minister with a plea to the nation to call him by his new nickname. "Call me 'JoFry'," said the 47-year-old. Scott Morrison, the Federal ScoMo of the nation, laughed for the cameras and slapped him on the back. "Nice dude," said Scott. "Ok my dudes,...

WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT Prime Minister Scott Morrison has today moved to assure the country that we aren't in need of a Federal style ICAC at all. The man who previously labelled calls for a Royal Commission into the Banking and Financial Sector a "populist whinge," explained that everything in federal politics is ship shape corruption wise. The PM's comments come after a number...

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact ScoMo, the Prime Minister of Australia, has taken time out of his busy afternoon of sheepishly laughing and creating jobs to visit a Canberra Captain Snooze shop to buy a big new bed for the Victorian Liberals who got up on theirs over the weekend, pulled their britches down and shit on the bare mattress. Witnesses described the scene...

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact The previously unseen Liberal Party base has been discovered in a local cafe today. Four Betoota Grove Baby Boomers, who all moonlight as economic, social and environmental handbrakes on our nation, were observed by researchers from the CSIRO bickering in the Steaks de Cheval Cafe in the French Quarter. For the first time in years, according...

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT The Liberal Party's woeful result in the Victorian election indicated that the Morrison government will be torn to piece at next year's federal poll, as a blame game begins within both state and federal party rooms in an attempt to explain how the most uncharismatic man in Australian politics was able to jag another term as Victoria's...

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT A Canberra 457-visa worker is at risk of being deported home today, after mistaking the Minister For Home Affairs' bald head for a kiplfer spud side dish. It is believed the member for Dixon was furious after discovering the embarrassing incident wasn't even a joke. "Oh ma gosh!" said the North English backpacker. "Um honest I thought yer head was part...