Politics

WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT Prime Minister Scott Morrison has today confirmed that he will be calling for a ban on all protests not related to abortion. His calls came at a speech today, following weeks of disruption caused by environmental protestors who have been trying to get action on climate change. That has lead to the Prime Minister vowing to take action...

WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT Barnaby Joyce sent Angus Taylor scuttling last night it can be confirmed. The Member for New England caused the Energy Minister to trip over his own chair before scrambling out of the Coalition government's Halloween Party last night. The scene was met with raucous laughter after Barnaby revealed himself as the man behind the prank. This comes after...

WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT Prime Minister Scott Morrison has told the photographers shadowing him to take the morning off. This comes after a couple of big weeks getting snapped running water out to everyone except the farmers and regional Australians crippled by drought. After running water out to the respective Rugby League and Cricket teams he picks for one-off annual matches, ScoMo is popping...

WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet |CONTACT Despite the whole drought thing going on at the moment, the National Party have today confirmed that there is another issue that is slightly more pressing right now. Pauline Hanson, taking credit for 'their policies.' Speaking from Canberra this morning, National's Leader Michael McCormack and Deputy Leader Bridget McKenzie have moved to address their concerns about One Nation trying...

LOUIS BURKE | Culture | CONTACT The Australian Labor party and worker’s unions have a proud friendship that dates back to the very first ‘hard hat photo opp.’ Now, however it seems that the in-opposition ALP may be forgetting their waterlogged roots as their support of coalition free trade deals have angered the famously placid Australian Unions.  Sharing this sentiment is former opposition leader and professional...

FRANKIE DeGROOT | News | CONTACT In a meeting of the minds, Deputy Prime Minister Michael McCormack has today excitedly taken the Prime Minister for a bit of a tour. The Deputy Prime Minister and prominent God-botherer Michael McCormack has walked the PM around a rapidly emptying dam, to show him where all of his prayers can be stored. McCormack has also called on the...

WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet |CONTACT In an embarrassing gaffe for the government today, the party's internal agenda for the week has been accidentally sent out to the media. The moment that will have the Prime Minister's Media Advisor double-checking every single email and message for the rest of his natural life, has caused quite a stir today. The internal memo with a list...

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT Prime Minister Scott Morrison has called on a favour from some old friends today to deal with the current Extinction Rebellion protestors making headlines. The former ad man and head of Tourism Australia got the gang back together for a big brainstorming session on how to label the climate change activists. "These are the people who brought you...

LOUIS BURKE | Culture | CONTACT The infighters of tomorrow have decided to call it a day.  In a recent summit of the Australian Young Greens, the youth political party voted to dissolve after self-alleged allegations of ageism in regards to the group policy, which states that members cannot be a part of the group if they are 25 years of age or older. Young Greens...

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact The Treasurer paused this morning to ponder the grim reality that's dawning on him. Joshua Frydenberg, known locally as JoFry, is in grave danger of going down as arguably the worst federal treasurer in living memory - and it's not lost on him. Despite his fantastic qualifications in business and economic management, being handcuffed to a...