Corner Of Holiday Suitcase Cops A 2 Kilogram Novel That Will Not Be Opened Once
EFFIE BATEMAN | Lifestyle | CONTACT
As Sydney and Melbourne continue to cough on each other, a local Brisbane woman is making the most of her freedom.
Sophie Marsden said she has booked a ticket to Magnetic Island on a whim after watching Eat, Pray, Love.
As she was yet to experience the obligatory Bali trip, Sophie has had to improvise now that she...
Local Mum Hanging Out Washing Unsure If Harley Davidson Tee Belongs To Hipster Son or Bikie Husband
KEITH T. DENNETT | New South | CONTACT
A local Mum has found herself in a washing basket-induced state of delirium, after struggling to identify the owner of a new piece of family attire.
With everyone home, Sandra Kelly (52), had a bit of house admin to do, soundtracked by her favourite spray and wipe album, Tracey Chapman’s 1989 classic ‘Crossroads’.
However, upon hanging the faded...
Large Boost Juice Launches Local Man Into 6 Hour Sugar Upswing
KEITH T. DENNETT | New South | CONTACT
The Triton is washed, the garage is swept and both front and back lawns have been mown at a Betoota Heights home this afternoon after a man took advantage of a 6-hour sugar surge.
For local warehouse foreman Garry Edwards it appears the ability to knock off three of his largest chores off in the space...
Dropping Hints About Day’s Busy Schedule Fails To Persuade Christmas Party Fling To Hit The Road
EFFIE BATEMAN | Lifestyle | CONTACT
Local woman Chelsea Pollard isnt known for making good decisions at the best of times, but when she’s on the piss, she’s an absolute terror.
Despite giving herself a warning ahead before she entered the venue, Chelsea’s promises to take it easy at her work's annual Christmas party were soon thrown out the window as soon she spied the...
Mum Throws 1st Christmas Grenade By Asking In-Laws To Email Proof Of Vax With RSVP To Family Lunch
KEITH T. DENNETT | New South | CONTACT
A local mother has set off a festive frag grenade, sending an explosive email concerning vax status to all members of the extended family.
In an email that outlined upcoming Christmas plans, it’s understood Betoota Ponds mother of two, Sue Miller has asked all members of the Miller/Brooks/Jenkins family to email proof of double jab status, if...
Exhausted Local Silly Seasoner Actually Wouldn’t Mind Being A Close Contact Right Now
WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT
As her synapses continue to fire barbs around her skull, Betoota Heights woman Ashley Gleeson is in a world of hurt.
So much hurt that she wouldn’t even mind having to isolate for a little bit, she's confirmed today.
This comes after her fourth night out during what has been a La Ninàesque silly session, something which is nothing short...
Bloke Testing Out The Carnivore Diet Implored To Stop By Every Roommate That Shares A Bathroom
EFFIE BATEMAN | Lifestyle | CONTACT
With nothing much to do this week, local bloke James Reynolds has decided to try something he heard about after going through Joe Rogan’s most popular podcasts.
As someone who likes to jump on bandwagons or, in his words, ‘try something new’, listening to Joe has had James dabbling in multiple experiments, including intermittent fasting, trying to get his...
Kamikaze Boss Sets Pace With Round Of Margaritas To Kickstart Christmas Lunch
KEITH T. DENNETT | New South | CONTACT
A work Christmas party is hot out of the gates, after a lawless boss was spotted kickstarting the occasion with an opening round of Margaritas.
At approximately 12:12pm this afternoon, The Advocate understands several ‘Woooo’s’ could be heard throughout the loft ceiling of popular french quarter restaurant “FireHound”, after company CEO Adam Bec-Bridge, started proceedings with a...
Local Intellectual Suddenly Develops British Accent After Having A Few Too Many Glasses Of Bubbly
EFFIE BATEMAN | Lifestyle | CONTACT
A local intellectual has today debuted a cute and quirky trait when they were seen speaking in received pronunciation after getting on the turps.
Jessica Cornish is alleged to have gone out with some workmates for Marksby & Jacob’s annual Christmas party, quickly knocking back glass after glass of free champagne before the bar tab ran out.
Growing bolder...
Schoolie Seen Dry Heaving Into Agapanthus Bush Proves Fruity Lexia Does Not Make You Sexier
EFFIE BATEMAN | Lifestyle | CONTACT
A local Sydney school leaver has tonight learned the hard way that Fruity Lexia unfortunately, does not make you sexier.
It’s alleged Alicia Fitzgerald was staying at a hostel close to the city, where she and her mates had busted out the criss-cross tops and white sneakers to head down to the beach for a party.
After lasting so...
