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LOUIS BURKE | Culture | CONTACT A group of young friends are set for the absolute trip of a lifetime. The four youngins embarking on an Aussie road trip state they cannot wait to capture the spirit of adventure as they visit the sort of small towns that make them feel utterly terrified after 5pm.  Leaving today, shotgun caller Kerry Don (32) asked for some AC/DC...

KEITH T. DENNETT | New South | CONTACT A local Covid conscious Mum has begun actioning her corona-safety plan, stapling a QR check-in to the front fence of a family backyard pool. For Betoota Heights mother of three, Sandra Narellan (53), the implementation of the check-in system is just phase one of her self devised, ‘Pandemic Protection Plan’. Speaking to The Advocate, Narellan said the new...

KEITH T. DENNETT | New South | CONTACT A JB Hi-Fi Store Manager has shown the world who’s boss today, after arriving to work flaunting three retail lanyards. It appears after six years rising through the ranks of the Betoota Heights franchise store, Kevin ‘Big Dog’ Collins finally has the retail bling to prove his experience on the sales floor. Referred to throughout the JB Hi-Fi...

EFFIE BATEMAN | Lifestyle | CONTACT With the spicy once again refusing to leave, many concerned Australians are choosing to take their shopping online rather than risk it at the shopping centre - or if you’re a Queenslander, staying well away from Bunnings, which seems to be the favourite spot for those unknowingly harbouring the pangolins kiss to visit. With advantages such as avoiding the...

EFFIE BATEMAN | Lifestyle | CONTACT A high school teacher has today alerted a student that one of the most famous historical figures of all time would have loved him, had he been born in 1930s Germany. Though being blonde haired and blue eyed typically meant that everyone loves you, especially living in Australia, teenager Nick French was reminded yet again, that he was the...

EFFIE BATEMAN | Lifestyle | CONTACT Just like Sherlock Holmes, local woman Anita Phillips has a mind palace. It’s her way of escaping the tedium of the every day and gives her something to look forward to come bedtime. It’s alleged Emily used to read naughty novels to get her fix but has since found the formula of a dominate rich man falling in...

KEITH T. DENNETT | New South | CONTACT A generous company CEO has flaunted his deep wealth this morning, donating a family sized box of Ferrero Rocher chocolates to the office kitchenette. Eyes lit up across the office floor of Betoota’s Ernst & Thumb accounting firm, as employees started their day with the welcome appearance of 48 individually wrapped Ferrero Rochers, sparkling in a gold...

KEITH T. DENNETT | New South | CONTACT A local Betoota romance has been given an extended warranty this afternoon, after the casual mention of a beachside holiday home inspired love to blossom for a few more months.  For local events manager Olivia Sanders, the decision to upgrade her lock down fling into a full-blown summer romance was inspired upon hearing her current casual partner,...

KEITH T. DENNETT | New South | CONTACT A Betoota boomer has had to call in the tech experts this afternoon, asking a Harvey Norman sales assistant where she can buy a ‘Crypto’ for Christmas. Spotted searching high and low amongst a myriad of shelves displaying slow cookers and hair-straighteners, The Advocate witnessed local Betoota Heights mother of two, Raelene Edwards (58), attempt to buy...

TRACEY BENDINGER | Culture | Contact “Jesus fucking Christ, Theresa, I don’t know how to work this bloody thing!” these are the first words twenty-eight-year-old Kim Johnson heard when she called her dad, Steve. However, today, even though Kim was 30 seconds into the phone call with Steve, neither of them had actually spoken to each other. “Is she there? This stupid piece of shit!” Steve continued to verbally abuse the...