Breaking News

EFFIE BATEMAN | Lifestyle | CONTACT A woman has today been torn between standing up for what she believes in or avoiding angry comments from disgruntled family members, it’s reported. Alyssa Gruegon is alleged to finally have had enough of the glaringly obvious gender roles, which saw the women of her family doing all the cooking and cleaning, while the men sat down and...

KEITH T. DENNETT | New South | CONTACT A new member of the non-alcoholic community has let a liquor store take his credit card for a ride, deciding to part with $60 for a bottle of non-alcoholic gin. At approximately 3:42pm this afternoon, local geography teacher Sam Lyre lit sixty of his hard earned dollars on fire as he walked out of the Betoota Grove...

LOUIS BURKE | Culture | CONTACT A group of young friends are set for the absolute trip of a lifetime. The four youngins embarking on an Aussie road trip state they cannot wait to capture the spirit of adventure as they visit the sort of small towns that make them feel utterly terrified after 5pm.  Leaving today, shotgun caller Kerry Don (32) asked for some AC/DC...

KEITH T. DENNETT | New South | CONTACT A local Covid conscious Mum has begun actioning her corona-safety plan, stapling a QR check-in to the front fence of a family backyard pool. For Betoota Heights mother of three, Sandra Narellan (53), the implementation of the check-in system is just phase one of her self devised, ‘Pandemic Protection Plan’. Speaking to The Advocate, Narellan said the new...

KEITH T. DENNETT | New South | CONTACT A JB Hi-Fi Store Manager has shown the world who’s boss today, after arriving to work flaunting three retail lanyards. It appears after six years rising through the ranks of the Betoota Heights franchise store, Kevin ‘Big Dog’ Collins finally has the retail bling to prove his experience on the sales floor. Referred to throughout the JB Hi-Fi...

EFFIE BATEMAN | Lifestyle | CONTACT With the spicy once again refusing to leave, many concerned Australians are choosing to take their shopping online rather than risk it at the shopping centre - or if you’re a Queenslander, staying well away from Bunnings, which seems to be the favourite spot for those unknowingly harbouring the pangolins kiss to visit. With advantages such as avoiding the...

EFFIE BATEMAN | Lifestyle | CONTACT A high school teacher has today alerted a student that one of the most famous historical figures of all time would have loved him, had he been born in 1930s Germany. Though being blonde haired and blue eyed typically meant that everyone loves you, especially living in Australia, teenager Nick French was reminded yet again, that he was the...

EFFIE BATEMAN | Lifestyle | CONTACT Just like Sherlock Holmes, local woman Anita Phillips has a mind palace. It’s her way of escaping the tedium of the every day and gives her something to look forward to come bedtime. It’s alleged Emily used to read naughty novels to get her fix but has since found the formula of a dominate rich man falling in...

KEITH T. DENNETT | New South | CONTACT A generous company CEO has flaunted his deep wealth this morning, donating a family sized box of Ferrero Rocher chocolates to the office kitchenette. Eyes lit up across the office floor of Betoota’s Ernst & Thumb accounting firm, as employees started their day with the welcome appearance of 48 individually wrapped Ferrero Rochers, sparkling in a gold...

KEITH T. DENNETT | New South | CONTACT A local Betoota romance has been given an extended warranty this afternoon, after the casual mention of a beachside holiday home inspired love to blossom for a few more months.  For local events manager Olivia Sanders, the decision to upgrade her lock down fling into a full-blown summer romance was inspired upon hearing her current casual partner,...