Flood Of New Year Engagement Photos Inspires Young Single To Book Flights To South America
KEITH T. DENNETT | New South | CONTACT
A young Betoota single is beginning to map out a few months in South America, after wallowing through weeks of watching all of her best friends get engaged.
Despite blowing her entire house deposit savings on flights and the possibility of picking up the next new and improved strain of the Spicy Sneeze, for 27-year-old Bridget Sloane,...
White Sock Leather Shoe Combo Fair Sign Local Man is Graphic Designer or Deep State Conspiracist
KEITH T. DENNETT | New South | CONTACT
A local man has created widespread panic throughout a cafe come coworking space this morning, all thanks to his choice of footwear.
The Advocate understands breakfast was ruined for a number of inner-city elites, who had spent the morning dining out at a popular milkshake cafe and creative hang out space, ‘Alabama Shakes’.
Sporting black leather shoes and...
Western Suburbs Parents Shock Neighbours By Giving Son Name That Doesn’t End With ayden
FRANKIE DeGROOT | News | CONTACT
A young Harrington Park family is the talk of their scale-model suburb today after the most recent addition to the family was named “Timothy” after his grandfather.
Parents Ayden and Charmayden said it was a difficult decision to make but they had always planned to name him Tim, and didn’t care what anybody else thought.
However, other residents have...
Economic Woes Of 2021 Most Evident In Coastal Town Being Nice To Blow Ins
LOUIS BURKE | Culture | CONTACT
With over half of Australia spending at least 42% of the year in lockdown, many of us do not have to look far to see the effects of the economic woes dealt nationwide in 2021.
It can be seen most clearly however in the NSW coastal town of Port Entrance who received so few blow ins in 2021 that...
Report: Most 2022 Resolutions Just To Not Get Sick From This Virus Our Government Has Lost Control Of
LOUIS BURKE | Culture | CONTACT
As those of us who are still employed wrap up work for another year, the public consciousness shifts towards personal goal setting this new year ie. doing all the things you have put off since July.
In recent years, popular New Year’s Resolutions include weight loss, quitting darts and vegetarianism but recent surveying has revealed that 2022s most popular...
Indulgent Local Hedonist Orders Gatorade And Panadol Delivered To His Door
EFFIE BATEMAN | Lifestyle | CONTACT
When it comes to sorting out new years plans, if you don’t have a house party to go to, you may as well have a quiet one at home or acknowledge that your night will likely cost more than $200 dollars - or spend a lot of time lining up somewhere.
For local bloke Luke Prescott, he’d chosen to...
Uncle With 7 Fingers Still Wants To Buy Fireworks
FRANKIE DeGROOT | News | CONTACT
Despite several memorable mishaps in the past which are tactfully not mentioned at family barbecues, Uncle Joe is still keen to speak to his mate who knows the guy who works with the man who quietly imports fireworks from China.
“The New Year’s fireworks were ok, but we used to put on a display like that every weekend. Kids today are sooks,” he...
Coastal Nightclub Bouncer Acting Like He Doesn’t Know Your Mum
LOUIS BURKE | Culture | CONTACT
As the weather warms up and tourists start blowing in, coastal towns across Australia prepare for their local nightclubs to be slightly less depressing than they deserve to be.
South of the border, in the SA coastal hideaway of Glumbucket Heads (just 18 hours south of Betoota) the locals are ready to reopen their clubbing institution, Club Rub.
However, until...
Brisbane Bloke Who Pronounces The ’S’ In Queensland Must Think He’s Pretty Fucking Fancy?
COL DUNCAN | Local | CONTACT
A local Queenslander has recently revealed that he thinks he’s top shit by using the correct pronunciation for his home State.
Blaine Thompson (26) was visiting friends in the Betoota Ponds area when it became clear that he probably likes watching movies in other languages and visits art galleries out of recreation.
In what was supposed to be a tongue in...
Report: Dad’s Actually Impressed With The Route You Took Here
COL DUNCAN | Local | CONTACT
After cancelling Sunday dinner for the last few weeks in a row because he lacks the emotional intelligence to spend time around his family when recovering from a session of extreme binge drinking, local man Doug Horne (32) has finally gone home to see his folks.
To nobody's surprise, it was only a few minutes before his old man asked,...