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Young Brisbane Dads Finally Have The Chance To Dust Off The Old Etnies Tonight

KEITH T. DENNETT | New South | CONTACT 10,000 pairs of Etnies sneakers have been spotted marching towards Boondall tonight as Brisbane’s community of millennial Dads gear up for a big night at Blink. After selling out shows in Perth, Melbourne and Sydney, the California rockers have touched down in Brown Snake and will be ready to entertain an excited audience of fans who remember...

Tinny Of Soon To Be Deported Blokes Arriving In WA Eclipses Housing Crisis, Climate Change, Buckling Health System And Cost Of Living Pressures As The Most Pressing Issue On...

WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT After a tumultuous few years, the political landscape might just be returning to normal this week. Following a glut of stories about a variety of issues directly impacting everyday Australians, a semblance of normality returned to the news cycle on Friday afternoon. That came in the form of a tinny pulling up on the shores of northern Western...

Bahahahahahahahahaha

WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT Bahahahahahahahahahah England. Suck shit. This comes after the Poms succumbed to their second biggest ever test lost, only eclipsed by their hammering in 1934 to us. The final result was India losing by 434 runs in the Third Test match of the series, after crumbling for 122 in the second innings. It was also the biggest ever test...

Screamo Fan Fuming Luxury Fashion House Is Appropriating His T-Shirt Culture

KEITH T. DENNETT | New South | CONTACT A luxury fashion store in downtown Betoota has been picketed this morning after local screamo fans gathered to protest the release of a new high fashion collection that’s deeply offensive to musos that enjoy a Wall of Death. At 8:05am, up to thirty five members of Betoota’s underground metal scene gathered in front of the Balenciaga store...

NRL Begin Letter Drop Campaign Around Vegas To Warn Residents That NRL Players Are On The Loose

KEITH T. DENNETT | New South | CONTACT The NRL’s Public Safety and Integrity Unit has been busy this week as it looks to prepare the state of Nevada for an influx of NRL players and ensuing Australian sports media. With less NRL's headline event only weeks away, it’s believed the code is doing everything it can to ensure the safety of Americans who may...

QLD SES Crews Rush To Search Brisbane River After P!nk Is Accidentally Catapulted Out Of Suncorp Stadium

EFFIE BATEMAN | Lifestyle | ContactUS singer Pink has had an unfortunate accident during her Friday night show in Brisbane, as witnesses report the singer experienced a     malfunction that saw her accidentally becoming a human slingshot. At approximately 10:15pm, a figure in lycra was seen ricocheting through the roof of the Suncorp Stadium, after the poor weather and a series of technical...

Albo’s Bux Party Chat Goes Quiet After Chris Bowen Forwards 7th Twisted Video In A Row

WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT The newly created bucks party group chat for the newly engaged Prime Minister has fallen a little quiet this afternoon. After a wave of messages regarding locations, outfits, and so on - 'Albo's Bux Chat' is in somewhat of a lull right now. This comes after the Minister for Climate Change and Energy Chris Bowen hit the group...

Sky News Accuses Mary Fowler And Nathan Cleary Of Being A Deep State Psy-Op Aimed At Getting Labor Re-Elected

WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT The truth-seekers at Sky News have this week taken to the airwaves with an interesting new agenda. Fresh off the back of trying to claim that the recent changes to tax cuts are an attack on the working man (90% of whom would have seen little to no benefit under the previous scheme), Murdoch's Minions have revealed staggering...

Nationals Will Allow Barnaby To Stay In Parliament If He Agrees To Having Alcohol Interlock Installed On The Backbench

WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT Barnaby Joyce, the twice former Deputy Prime Minister of Australia is today facing an ultimatum. He's been told that it's time to blow into the bag, or take some time off. This comes after the controversial piss sinker from the New England was filmed pissed out of his brains on the footpath of a Canberra street last week....

Bill Shorten Kicked Out Of Albo’s Bux Party Chat For Suggesting Mini Golf

WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT The man who was supposed to be in his second term as Prime Minister has today been dealt a cruel blow. Bill Shorten was unceremoniously kicked out of a group chat this afternoon, after saying something rather foolish. Shorten was removed from Anthony Albanese's Bucks Party group chat a short time ago for reportedly suggesting that the group...

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