Conor McGregor’s remaining brain cells blamed for shock early retirement
20 April, 2016. 14:34
ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact
DESPITE HAVING MILLIONS OF brain cells left to lose, Irish fighter Conor McGregor has chosen to retire from all forms of professional MMA.
Rumours have swelled for the proceeding 12-hours before the announcement, with confirmation coming from UFC President Dana White.
The 27-year-old says he was confronted in a dream by his remaining...
Budget leaks reveal beach houses more affordable under Turnbull government
19 April, 2016. 15:45
ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact
BEACH HOUSES AND HOBBY FARMS will be cheaper to attain and maintain under a Coalition government, a series of budget leaks has revealed.
The breakthrough comes after huge concessions were made to high-income earners and big business, forcing nearly all Australians out of the highly competitive holiday home market.
It's good news for...
Study finds only girls like beer in clear bottles
19 April, 2016. 11:34
ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact
A REPORT COMMISSIONED BY an Australian brewery has found that only girls like the taste of beer that comes packaged in clear bottles.
It also recommends that Australian men who enjoy malted beverages such as Corona, Toohey's Extra Dry or XXXX Summer to walk to the nearest bathroom and look themselves in...
Barnaby Joyce and The Nationals host ‘outrageous’ house party at The Lodge
14 April, 2016. 15:45
ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact
NOW THAT MALCOLM TURNBULL HAS left the country, Barnaby Joyce and his friends from The Nationals have the keys to the kingdom - and they've thrown the biggest party at The Lodge since John Howard's infamous 17-day bender after Australia won the 1999 Cricket World Cup.
Early this morning, a Tooheys Brewery...
Local Creep Stands A Bit Too Close In Otherwise Empty Row Of Urinals
13 April, 2016. 10:15
MERV HARRIS | Contributor | CONTACT
In a bizarre turn, a local man chose to stand immediately next to another man at a row of vacant urinals in Betoota this afternoon.
Identified only by the Sydney Roosters tattoo on his wrist, the culprit took up the position at the otherwise empty bank of amenities in a quiet suburban pub early hours...
WOW! This Filthy Tap In The Slums Of Mumbai The Key To Instant Weight Loss
CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT
After amazing success in the UK, North America and Canada, the most effective new weight loss craze is finally making its way to Australia!
Everyone seems to be talking about Dharavi Tap Water Program! (also known as Spitty Bum Fat Burner) - It is said to be a “Dual Action Fat Buster” that suppresses appetite and prevents fat from...
Canned Air From Turnbull’s Electorate Goes On Sale In Western Sydney
ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact
THE ASPIRATIONAL CLASS OF WESTERN Sydney no longer has to drive out to the city's far-Eastern Suburbs to get some clean ocean air and a taste of the high life - thanks to two Vaucluse brothers who say they've come up with a novel way of giving the full one-percent experience for a fraction of...
Reclaim Australia Endorses Hillary Clinton For President Of The World
5 April, 2016. 18:15
PADDY MUNRO | Contributor | CONTACT
In a surprise move, local patriot Daryn Lynch passionately defended his support for US presidential candidate Hillary Clinton at the Pastorla Hotel last night.
The Reclaim Australia member had previously announced support for republican front-runner Donald Trump, but last night changed sides after learning of Clinton’s unimpeachable record of bullying Muslims.
“Mate I love trump’s wall idea, we...
George Christensen Calls For Royal Commission Into Why Sizzlers Keep Closing Down
CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT
George Robert Christensen MP has today called for a Royal Commission into why Sizzler outlets are closing down across Australia.
The rotund Member for Dawson has today announced that he can no longer remain silent over the fact that the nation's favourite all-you-can-eat restaurant chain is disappearing in front of our very eyes.
"The $14 dollar salad...
Uni Toilets Slammed For Promoting Dangerous Body Image With Unachievable Thigh Gaps
ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact
AS THERE'S NOW ALMOST THREE TIMES as many genders as there was twenty years ago, the current toilet signage found throughout the world is coming under fire from everyday people.
While being insensitive to melange sexualities and genders, the signs have also come under attack for not reinforcing a positive body image because of how...
