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WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT Departing Prime Minister Malcolm Turnbull has thrown the towel in today, announcing that he is quitting parliament, and has called the second leadership spill this week.  After digging his heels in for most of the week, Turnbull finally called the meeting to decide the next Prime Minister of the country, after receiving a letter with 43 signatures on it asking...

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT The Liberal Party of Australia have today performed a very shocking act of self-immolation, in protest against the difficulties of running a unified government in 2018. The act of self-immolation, or setting one's self on fire, was brought on by the Former Home Affairs Minister Peter Dutton and his band of old white conservative supporters. This comes after news broke...

WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT It was a bad night for soon to be former Prime Minister Malcolm Turnbull and an even worse one for Channel Ten. With the nation’s attention being held to ransom by the Coalition Government’s leadership debacle, one of the station’s flagship reality programs suffered a massive hit. The much hyped and anticipated season of the Bachelor, featuring the...

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT Malcolm Turnbull's Prime Ministership remains vulnerable after several senior ministers offered their resignations overnight, and reports more fucking losers Liberals are switching allegiances to Peter Dutton. This follows a new report by the University of Western Queensland that all politicians in both state and federal politics, and quite often local politics, are the biggest losers in their community. The report...

WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT It can be confirmed today that the fear of God is in the heart of the Liberal Party backbenchers. The motley crew of middle-aged white men and a few white women are freaking out that if things keep going the way they are, their children may have to pay the ultimate price. The ultimate price being forced to send...

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT Malcolm Turnbull has beaten Peter Dutton 48-35 in a snap Liberal leadership spill. The Prime Minister forced his rival to show his hand by declaring all leadership positions vacant as soon as the party room meeting started this morning. Mr Turnbull won the vote and his deputy Julie Bishop was the only candidate for her role. But the result...

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT Following an immediate DNA test conducted by the recently repaired ABC Fact Checker, answers regarding Bob Katter's alleged Venetian-Semetic-Aboriginal-Lebanese-Irish-Catholic ancestry remain still as muddy as they were during his 10 minute press conference in Cairns on Wednesday. During his lengthy, at times irrelevant and borderline incoherent rant regarding his newly inaugurated Senator Fraser Anning's comments about putting forward a...

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | Contact A recent report by people who have opened up their Music folder in the last year has found that U2 are still sitting in there without permission. "For fuck's sake" says one iPhone user, Bridie (24), who walks at the Betoota Cobb & Co liquor outlet. "I haven't ever liked this band. This better not be taking up memory space....

WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | Contact The Great Barrier Reef Foundation (GBRF) has revealed today what they plan to do with the $444 million dollar grant they have been given. Anna Marsden, the Managing Director of the GBRF, an organisation shadow directed by mining companies, sat down with The Betoota Advocate for an exclusive interview. After receiving the largest ever non-profit grant in the nation's history,...

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | Contact After a heavy backlash from viewers, Sky News Australia says it was wrong to air an interview with convicted serial killer and current inmate at Goulburn Supermax, Ivan Milat. The former Belanglo State Forest-based road worker was invited onto the Adam Giles Show for a studio interview and spoke with the former Northern Territory chief minister about protecting countries against "foreign...