Breaking News

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT Opposition Leader Anthony Albanese has today been labelled a sell-out to his own kind. And no we aren't talking about Labor left faction, or the environmentalists, or the Grayndler residents who have had their houses and businesses seized for the Westconnex project, or the Australian working class in general. It's the Italian-Australian community this time, as well as the...

WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet |CONTACT Anti-abortion protestors in harbourside city of Sydney are re-focusing this morning, after being disappointed by the decision of the Victorian Court of Appeal down in Melbourne. The upholding of the conviction of the rock spider George Pell today, follows thousands taking to the CBD in Sydney last night to protest against the decriminalisation of abortion. Holding placards and...

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT One local cattleman from the back country of Queensland, who has a vague history of playing a relatively high standard of rugby league, is today reminiscing on a possibly exaggerated stint in the big smoke as a young fella. Noel Ingham (53) says you'd be surprised how bloody accurate the new ABC program Les Norton is, at least for...

TRACEY BENDINGER | Culture | Contact A local man has been satisfied and annoyed at the same time today after he loaded up a bickie with a cube of Bega cheese, only to have it shatter in his hands. Trent Denny’s satisfaction came from having to shove everything in his mouth at once and getting the full hit of the best flavour combo ever. His...

TRACEY BENDINGER | Culture | Contact A local chippy has been betrayed by a delicious, freshly baked meat pie from Brooke’s Bakery this afternoon after the perfectly flaky crust managed to scatter itself all over the front seat of his ute. In what should have been the perfect crime, Dane Littlejohn is now explaining to his girlfriend how it was the apprentice who ate a...

WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet |CONTACT A new report has emerged this morning claiming that Kieran Wilson went 'full send' last night. That allegation stems from the mouth of the man himself, who just proclaimed to a few mates down at a French Quarter cafe that he 'fucking sent it last night aye.' Rolling in a reasonable time before midday to touch base with some...

WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet |CONTACT In some breaking news out of the Harbour City of Sydney, a professional Rugby League player has managed to give it a bit of nudge, without capturing the entire thing on camera this weekend. The news has shocked the Rugby League fraternity, with plenty reeling this morning after it was confirmed that Baden Simpson polished off a bag...

WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet |CONTACT In exciting news for gameshow TV fans, the incredibly popular Wipeout is set to return to screens across the country. The new one-off special is expected to be aired next week and feature a thrilling obstacle course called the ASX. The show that broadcast in the mid-2000s before being pulled was a reality competition, where contestants try to...

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT Following the finds that the Sydney lock-out laws have all but fucked the city's nightlife and reputation as an international city, NSW Premier Gladys Berejiklian has moved quickly to reposition the city as a tropical getaway. By spray-painting the city's feral ibises hot pink, the NSW Government believes that tourists will come rushing back to the boring, lifeless state...

WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet |CONTACT A local physiotherapist has issued a public declaration today. The 26-year-old health professional name Laura Jane has asked everyone to 'stop fucking asking whether she wanted to get into medicine.' Nearly 2 years out from her degree, the young Betoota Grove woman has moved to assure friends, family, current and future clients that she actually doesn't care that she...