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FRANKIE DeGROOT | News | CONTACT A critical part of the Aussie caravan park experience is about to get a whole lot more personal with the recent release of newly-developed toilet paper that is so thin it can’t even be seen with the naked eye. Lani Miller, owner of the optimistically-named Betoota Holiday Resort has spent the last 8 years travelling the globe with...

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT As rural New South Wales towns like Lithgow and Bilpin continue to lose properties to out-of-control bushfires, regional Australians are beginning to wonder what is more important to the coalition: Maintaining the mining lobby's powerful stranglehold on all federal policy and environmental impact assessments, or possibly addressing the current catastrophic bushfires that have been hammering the east coast...

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT A local semi-retired fitter and turner has today shown his true colours as a bleeding heart leftie with a political agenda. Horrace Whitaker (62), shocked the Sky News loyalists that he drinks with on Saturdays by pointing the Australian Bureau of Meteorology reports that show irrefutable data that our country experienced the two hottest days on record back-to-back...

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT Scotty From Marketing is under fire for fleeing Sydney’s bushfire and air pollution crisis on a business class Jetstar flight to Honolulu, as his social media accounts remain untouched for days and his office refuses to explain why he isn't in the country. Mr Morrison’s office has also refused to disclose his whereabouts this week, saying only that...

MATILDA MARTIN | Local News | CONTACT A local woman has endured yet another poorly-framed FaceTime conversation with the top left corner of her parents’ heads. Gabbi claims for years now she’s only been able to catch glimpses of her parents, who live overseas, because of their inability to properly aim the camera on their phone. “I love hearing from them,” Gabbi, 29,...

TRACEY BENDINGER | Culture | Contact BREAKING: a local father of three has launched into yet another monologue about Diane Keaton being the greatest actress in the world. The Advocate can confirm that Mr. Shannon started singing her praises while watching ‘And So It Goes’ a film starring Keaton and Michael Douglass. “She’s the best actress in the world, hands down.” “Look at her, she can...

MATILDA MARTIN | Local News | CONTACT A big honor has been bestowed upon Melbourne native Chris Connors – he has officially been declared the supreme decider on what is and isn’t offensive. Our reporters were able to catch up with the 28-year old improv coach while he was with some of his students. “I’m honestly flattered. But, I mean, it makes sense. I have...

FRANKIE DeGROOT | News | CONTACT A family barbecue ended in embarrassment for local hipster Edwardino on Sunday, when distinctly un-hip Uncle George rocked up in an almost identical outfit. Edwardino, who runs a popular pop-up vintage cufflink dispensary in a decommissioned Newtown bus-stop, said the fashion faux-pas was totally unexpected. “I went to a lot of trouble to select my outfit; I chose a retro orange...

FRANKIE DeGROOT | News | CONTACT Local hipster Archimedes (no last name) has made the difficult decision to retire his Remington Imperial typewriter and replace it with an IBM Selectric, a decision that has made his peers question his devotion to the hipster lifestyle. "It was cool at first, all the other students in my Craft Beer Label Design lectures loved the constant whack-whack-whack-whack-ding...

EFFIE BATEMAN | BRISBANE| CONTACT City worker, Amy Lee told reporters she’d been looking forward to being reunited with her work bestie, after spending two weeks eating lunch alone and having nobody to gossip to. Eager for things to get back to normal, Amy had waited at her friend’s desk to surprise her with wine and flowers, when she caught the interest of...