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Newtown Property Prices Explode After Council Installs Anti Homeless Spikes On King St

24 February, 2016 16:45 CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT "It's certainly time for a makeover on King Street" The pre-election promise of the New South Wales Premier, Mike Baird, rings true today, as Newtown residences celebrate the long-awaited "homeless spikes" that have appeared overnight on the area's busiest street. As a rapidly gentrifying Sydney suburb, Newtown has also been the centre of quite an obvious...

Manly Sea Eagles supporter marries cousin

13 December, 2015. 11:43 ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact WHILE SCIENCE AND SOCIETY say no, a northern Sydney couple has proven that love conquers all by eloping illegally in a ceremony at Shelly Beach this morning. It all looked normal, almost cliche. Beach weddings are as common as bad tattoos. Barefoot bride, the groom in boardies. Nothing looked out of place,...

West Indies on Hobart: “we just want to get out of this shithole”

12 December, 2015. 15:34 ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact THE WEST INDIAN CRICKET TEAM say they just want to "get the fuck out of Hobart" after their surprisingly substandard performance against in the First Test against Australia. Attracting harsh criticism from both the Australian and Caribbean press, the team decided to throw the game just so they could retreat to somewhere...

Bill Shorten Admits To Looking At Brown Cardigan While Driving

11 December, 2015 16:45 CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT Leader of the Opposition, Bill Shorten has apologised after he was caught on camera using his phone while driving - but has made it clear that he was not texting while behind the wheel of a white four-wheel-drive in images tweeted by journalists on Thursday night. "I know it's not much consolation, but I want to clarify that...

Australia’s Youngest Dinosaur Uncovered In North Sydney

10 December, 2015. 12:34 ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact A CHANCE DISCOVERY in a northern Sydney creek bed has been heralded by paleontologists as the natural science find of a lifetime. As this type of dinosaur is quite rare, especially in Australia, the discovery has baffled Dr Allen Plant from the Sydney University paleontology department. "We typically don't see anything this 'out of place' in Australia. A...

Homeless Veteran Still Waiting For One Nation To Look After Him First

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT Homeless Brisbane man, Jai Torima says his state of helpless destitute is about get a whole lot worse, even though Pauline Hanson insisted twenty years ago that she was going to look after him well before anyone else. With a range of mental health conditions and a complete lack of occupational readiness, Mr Torima realises that an influx of Syrian...

Mum’s Hot Flushes Increase Dramatically After Michael Bublé CD Gets Trotted Out Again

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact CANADIAN PSEDUO-CROONER Michael Bublé has the air con pumping and the fan blades spinning this time or year. Family Christmases across the country are punctuated with open ended questions from mothers, aunts, grandmothers and sisters. Some ask if anybody else is hot? Others just declare that "it's just too fucking hot in here". At any...

Young Man Remarkably Less Alert Two Days After Stereosonic

30 November, 2015 10:10 CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT 21-year-old Gosford-based electrician, Luke Fordham, says he is very glad that he took today off. "Oh boy, am I tuckered out!" says the young man, between episodes of South Park, as he lies in a prone position on a couch in parent's garage. Luke says his current state of emotionally sensitive slovenliness is a direct result...

Mike Tindall: “Bieber’s New Album Is Straight Fire”

27 November, 2015 14:10 CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT The former captain of England's national rugby union team, infamous hard-man, Mike Tindall, has spoken to The Betoota Advocate today about how Canadian pop icon Justin Bieber has finally won him over. "It took a while... but this new album is straight fire. I'm a fuckin' Belieber, I have no shame in admitting that," Tindall (36),...

Tourists continue to get their hands wet in American toilets

13 November, 2015. 10:05 ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact SAM GREENBRANCH SAID he had the holiday of a lifetime ahead of him. While most of his friends took the easy road out and headed to Europe for the cheaper off-season holiday, the 24-year-old data entry specialist decided last minute to spend his allocated two weeks holiday in the United States. He...

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