Breaking News

FRANKIE DeGROOT | News | CONTACT The ACCC has issued a warning about a sophisticated new scam which aims to trick members of the public into sending approximately a third of their income to a shady organisation known only as “ATO”. The scam, which targets gainfully-employed members of the public, encourages them to “register” with the organisation, which involves supplying personal details and the details of their...

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT After nearly a week of radio silence from the Prime Minister's office, there is growing fears that Scotty From Marketing may have made the most of the NSW school holidays and ducked off for a week with Jenny and the girls. Morrison, who hasn't been seen since his early by-election campaigning in Eden-Monaro, had previously mentioned he was going...

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT Victorian Premier Daniel Andrew has today had to admit to the fact that Melbourne's property market might actually be somewhat of a manipulated bubble that favours retirees and foreign investors, as he tries to explain why only poor people are being locked inside their high-rise apartments. There are 3000 residents in the public housing blocks in Flemington and North...

FRANKIE DeGROOT | Local News | Contact As Victoria struggles to cope with the recent localised explosion in COVID-19 cases, an unprecedented ban on Wet Willies has been enacted in what authorities hope will stop the virus in it’s tracks. COVID-19 cases in Victoria hit 2,231 on July 1, with an additional 73 cases on that day alone. Of those 73 cases, 64 have been directly...

EFFIE BATEMAN | Lifestyle | CONTACT Humming a happy little tune to himself, local man Jake Gosford whips out a pair of scissors and sets to work on his apology present for the missus. It’s alleged that the thirty-two-year-old HR manager had been a little bit too enthusiastic about the pubs opening up again, resulting in a few too many nights stumbling home in the dark. The sheer act...

After over 12 months of research, a study by the Black Panther Sightings Organisation (BPSO) has confirmed that there must be a large number of big cats residing in Australia. The report found that over 16 separate towns and localities genuinely claim to have a panther lurking in their shire, leaving the researchers to estimate that there must be nearly 20...

LOUIS BURKE | Culture | CONTACT Social media user Elliot Hodges (27) has used his better judgement today and done a dirty delete on a CoronaVirus Hot Take they posted on social media on March 13 2020.  At the time of writing, over 500K have died from COVID-19 with the USA alone accounting for 130K or so of recorded deaths.  The pandemic is the deadliest in...

WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT A local joker has brought the nearly finished house he's been working on down today. The incident occurred after one of Kevin Andrews' young chippies turned up to site at 6:04am, a whole 4 minutes after his workday was supposed to start. Despite the fact the young fella Simmo, has turned up at least 5 minutes early for...

LOUIS BURKE | Culture | CONTACT The pandemic milestone we hoped we’d never see has been marked for celebration in the most minor way possible. Figures verified by the World Health Organisation (WHO) show that there have officially been 10 million cases of COVID-19 with an estimated 5.5M of those recovered cases and over 500K deaths. Yet as the world mourns, the holy City of Churches...

WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT In some shocking news this morning, the rest of Australia has re-affirmed to the AFL that they aren't really that keen on having planeloads of Victorians flying into their states or territories. South Australia has joined Queensland in shutting its borders to Victorians, and the AFL are frantically trying to shuffle games around, with Gillon McLachlan desperately trying...