Breaking News

EFFIE BATEMAN | BRISBANE | CONTACT A local bloke has today been body-shamed after he was seen teetering on a flimsy bar stool at the pub, it’s reported. Nick Wood says that he’d been enjoying a glass of beer with his mates at the Shifty Hen when the bar manager signalled for him to hop off the stool. Attempting to reinforce the chair with...

FRANKIE DeGROOT | Local News | Contact Australian food manufacturer Uncle Tobys will be forced to rebrand it’s popular ‘Le Snak’ snack product after admitting the product was not actually manufactured in the Snak region of France at all.   The product, which combines okayish crackers and delicious goo which bears a faint resemblance to cheese, was released in 1988 and was given a French-sounding name,...

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT Queensland Deputy Police Commissioner Steve Gollschewski says a man who went missing from mandatory quarantine in Toowoomba has been found. "That person was found missing yesterday and has returned into quarantine and has declared themselves and surrendered themselves" he said. The 25-year-old man returned from a New South Wales hotspot and was directed to hotel quarantine for 14 days, police...

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT Victoria has recorded its deadliest day of the pandemic with 19 new deaths overnight and 322 new cases of COVID-19. Of the deaths, 14 were linked to aged care outbreaks. While the new deaths surpassed yesterday's record high, the new case numbers represent a new low for the state over the past couple of weeks - Victorian health authorities...

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT Local tupperware sales gun Karen Costello says up until 6 months ago the biggest issue she had with her name was the alliteration. That was before minorities started filming the elitist and racist public meltdowns of middle aged white women in America, an archetype that quickly became known as 'The Karen'. Mrs Costello (45) says she can't argue with the...

EFFIE BATEMAN | BRISBANE | CONTACT Peering closely at the switches on the oven, local man Greg Haines tries to work out what the scratched off numbers could mean. It’s not often that the sorry excuse for a human being ever uses an oven, but given that his freezer is fresh out of microwavable meals, he’s had no other choice than to cook something. However,...

FRANKIE DeGROOT | Local News | Contact In a bold move, a local used car dealer has claimed every single car on the lot was previously owned and cherished by various elderly woman, who used them only to drive to the local churches and monthly CWA Meetings.  “Mate, all these great cars are 100% guaranteed to have been owned by a little old lady, and...

FRANKIE DeGROOT | Local News | Contact A young father has stumbled across an ingenious method which can be used to double or even triple the length of a regular, all-too-short weekend.   “I could never get anything done in just two days” explained Lachlan Murray, 24. “After taking the kids to swimming lessons, mowing the lawn, and at least one kiddy birthday party, there’s just...

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT COVID-19 has finally made it's way to the Steel City this week, and appears to have had quite a night out. NSW health authorities say that the severe acute respiratory syndrome, which is known for infect over 18.7 million people worldwide, really hit the tiles over the weekend - putting in an effort that would rival Joey Johns on...

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT In an announcement that has surprised absolutely nobody, a prominent trustfund baby from Sydney's Eastern Suburbs has found it too hot in the kitchen. This comes as James Murdoch, former chief executive of 21st Century Fox and son of Rupert Murdoch, resigns from the News Corp board of directors because of "disagreements over certain editorial content" published by...