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CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT The North Brisbane city slicking Liberal MP Peter Dutton has today learnt an important lesson in Western Queensland ettiquette. You don't start fights in towns with abattoirs. This is an age-old proverb in the rural heartland - and there is no exception to the rule the meat workers are always good for a blue, and can bloody blue. In fact, only...

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT New restrictions are being implemented across Greater Sydney, as the number of COVID-19 cases in Sydney's Bondi cluster continues to grow. NSW Premier Gladys Berejiklian has announced that 16 new cases have emerged in the community since 8pm last night. With less than 2% of the population fully dosed up with their jabs, and growing skepticism towards the government's bungled...

WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT In a world of lockdowns and closed borders, a former traveller has received some good news this week.  With the nation currently 4%* vaccinated and international travel still looking off the table for quite some time, a local man has expressed his excitement at being able to have the taste of Tokyo at his fingertips.  The three time Japanese ski...

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT NO OFFENCE BUT HAHA: Australian Prime Minister Scott Morrison has once again gone rogue while travelling internationally without his media advisors in tow. Following a completely pointless trip to the G7 Summit in Cornwall, the PM visited Windsor Castle to see the Queen for a single cup of tea that meant more to him than anything else happening in...

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT After a big year in and out of court rooms for accurately reporting the non-redacted documents related to the former Attorney-General's personal life, ABC’s Four Corners program has once again found itself in the cross hairs for the razor-weilding Coaliton Government. The newest calls to 'Defund The ABC' come after the embarrassing revelations that Prime Minister Scott Morrison actually...

EFFIE BATEMAN | BRISBANE| CONTACT Local child Timothy Robbins loves nothing more than a good spag bowl...well, except maybe chicken tenders. But considering he comes from a very white family, Timothy isn’t really used to meals deviating from simple pasta dishes or the standard meat and veggies - with the latter usually boiled and without a single bit of seasoning. This was a result...

EFFIE BATEMAN | BRISBANE| CONTACT Local woman, Alyssa Thompson has been looking like shit all day. Or at least, that’s what she thinks. If it’s not for her thin hair that makes any sort of styling impossible or the persistent outbreak of pimples on the right side of her chin, Alyssa also has to contend with fawn-like eyelashes that insist on facing downwards. Problems...

WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT The Premier of Queensland has today asked to speak to the manager at the NRL. Annastacia Palaszczuk has formally asked Peter V'Landys for a refund on the 8 million dollars she spent bringing the State of Origin opener to Townsville. Hailed by the entire state as money well spent until about 8:25 pm last night, the Queensland government...

LOUIS BURKE | Culture | Contact A forensic team was nearly called to the bathroom of a Betoota Heights home today after family patriarch Reginald Cloones (54) absolutely devastated the family bathroom. After a lengthy stay inside the bathroom his four children rely on for hygiene, Cloones emerged with a newspaper, a faint smirk and a warning to his offspring. “I’d give the loo a minute,”...

LOUIS BURKE | Culture | Contact With only 2% of Australian adults fully jabbed up against COVID-19, the federal government has considered some drastic action to convince Aussies over 50 to get the shot. A proposed scheme from the government suggests the best way to convince Australian boomers to get the jab will be in the form of a co-ordinated scam email racket. “Truth is, there...