IN-Focus

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact The Federal Government has suggested this morning that the latest outbreak of the Pangolin's Wrath in Melbourne is because the Victorianese people (and people who identify as ethnically Victorian) don't usually wash their hands in their culture. That was in response to questions from reporters this morning in Canberra that put it to Scott Morrison...

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact The Rural City of Mildura has been plunged back into a lockdown this week along with the rest of the nation's appendix state but the Acting Victorian Premier James Merlino is asking his team why that is. "Why is a South Australian town going into a lock down, is there something they aren't telling us?"...

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact The Federal Government may be forced to intervene in the roll-out of the spicy cough jab as well as quaratine arrangements in Victoria after the state's government has proven yet again, according to Scott Morrison, that they're not up to the job. Speaking to the House today in Canberra, the Bloke-In-Chief laid out his case...

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact A man from Melbourne's hellish northside has tried his best to upset older Australians today by demanding he and the millions of other lockdown victims receive a service medal and the right to "march" in the annual ANZAC Day Parade. Speaking to The Advocate this morning via zoom, the private school boy turned green-haired...

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact New research suggests a gorilla who learned to communicate via sign language had the brainpower to do 90% of the jobs currently advertised in the Australian Public Service. Koko the signing gorilla was mercifully taken from this spinning hell prison in 2018 but a team at the South Betoota Polytechnic College School of Animal Science...

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact Despite the free market indicating that building another fossil fuel power plant is not worth it, the Government is pushing ahead with the construction of a gas-fired power plant in the Hunter Valley for reasons only they know. Speaking to journalists today in Canberra, Prime Minister Scott Morrison explained that the government is building...

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact The one thing that binds our noble neck-less savages with the nation's computer freaks is their shared love of cryptocurrency. One love built upon the desire to be decentralised and the other being rooted in a passion for taking risks and punting the fuck out of a month's pay on something that could be...

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact A senior journalist at a cross-town masthead is hoping out for more blood clots to emerge as a result of the spicy cough jab that older people in our community have received so he doesn't have to report on what crimes against humanity Israel is committing in Palestine. Current Affairs editor Derek Watson over at...

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact The CEO of Virgin has called for the borders to re-open and society to start living with the spicy cough because it's starting to affect the bottom line of the business she's paid millions to look after. Virgin's Jayne Hrdlicka explained to reporters in Sydney earlier this week that some people will have to die...

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact A blue-haired yuppie who lives a charmed life in our town's French Quarter has labelled Israel an 'Apartheid state' in a scathing social media post over the weekend - a sentiment echoed by his followers. Despite Australia having a long history of brutally suppressing people based on their religion, skin colour and background, Lewis Quench...