IN-Focus

Phoneless Gent Forced To Read 17-Year-Old New Idea In Dentist Waiting Room

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact AFTER PICKING UP AN old issue of New Idea at his local dentist, Blake Mickley agrees that there certainly was some crazy shit happening in the world of celebrity back in 1999. His epiphany was only made possible by the 23-year-old accidently leaving his phone at home, realising his error half way to the dentist...

Struggling Community Library Reluctantly Installs A Couple Brickie’s Laptops

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT Warning: This article contains an incessant, opportunistic and misleading use of the word 'community'  Board members for the East Betoota library say that they have no option other than to install several poker machines to ensure the future of their community. With cuts to education and the imminent amalgamation of local councils, it seems the 104-year-old educational...

MDMA Easier To Find Than NBN In Prime Minister’s Electorate

18 April, 2016. 09:55 PADDY MUNRO | Contributor | CONTACT Despite being represented by the National Broadband Network’s architect and innovative Prime Minister Malcolm Turnbull, the voters of Wentworth in Sydney’s affluent Eastern Suburbs are more likely to find pingers rolling out onto their streets than the NBN. A special investigation by the Betoota Advocate found it was fifteen times easier to access...

Canned Air From Turnbull’s Electorate Goes On Sale In Western Sydney

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact THE ASPIRATIONAL CLASS OF WESTERN Sydney no longer has to drive out to the city's far-Eastern Suburbs to get some clean ocean air and a taste of the high life - thanks to two Vaucluse brothers who say they've come up with a novel way of giving the full one-percent experience for a fraction of...

How A Geography Elective Helped My Son Learn More Geopolitically Accurate Racial Slurs

NEVILLE O'SHANNASSY | Contributor | Contact CRONULLA -  Year 11 student Jayden Froth has vowed to learn more about global politics, religion, and culture in order to be more accurate and aware when using racist terminology. According to his mother, his interest stemmed from an embarrassing incident three years ago. Jayden tried to racially vilify a classmate of Korean heritage, by using a slur...

Put The Kleenex Away: First Non-Depressing Australian Film Since ‘Red Dog’ Announced

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact NOT SINCE THE RELEASE of 2011 feel-good hit Red Dog have we had such reason to celebrate. Screen Australia was able to confirm this morning that the successful movie's sequel Red Dog: True Blue wasn't intentionally bleak, depressing or sad in any way. The news has led to an outpouring of emotion, with thousands taking to social...

Mike Baird Proposes A Lock-Out On Charity Events After Post-Fundraiser Brawl

15 March, 2016. 15:15 CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT NEW SOUTH WALES Premier Mike Baird has proposed an indefinite lock-out on charity fundraisers after a series of fundraiser-related brawls irritated influential property owners throughout Sydney's CBD in the early hours of Sunday morning. "It's not looking like a permanent thing, we'll reassess the figures in two premiers time," said Mike Baird, speaking...

Dodgy Older Cousin Reckons The Pingers Used To Be Way Better

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT Dodgy older cousin, Tyrone (39) says he often dreams about the good old days when several $20 dollar pingers would have him cutting shapes in warehouse raves for 28 hours. "Man, those were good times," says Tyrone, now based in Wollongong. "I'd be so pinged up for days on end. We'd be blaring Moby and Darude. Those were the...

Banksy unveiled as former Howard foreign minister Alexander Downer

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact ONE OF THE GREAT MYSTERIES of the 21st century has been solved by a team of London journalists this morning - the identity of world-renown guerilla vandal Banksy. The investigative team will allege that Australian High Commissioner to the United Kingdom, Alexander Downer, is the artist. Using a series of scientific algorithms, the journalists were able...

Pleasant Bushie Applies For Passport For Upcoming Trip To The Seaside

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact IT WAS ONE SMALL STEP FOR Nathan Delaney to get a mobile phone, it was a giant leap for him to turn it on. "Fuck me," he said. "Look at this fucking thing. How do you drive it?" While Nathan may be taken back by his new Motorola, what lies in store for the 24-year-old borderline...

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