IN-Focus

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact A Bondi man who has nipples the size of pikelets has told The Advocate that he had a red-hot go in life and that's why he gets to live by the water - and those people from out in the "Western Suburbs" who are "having a sook" about not being allowed to go to...

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact A French Quarter man who was once suspected of blowing up a Diamantina Credit Union branch office has told The Advocate this morning that he's become the one thing he thought he never would be. "That could've been me who punched that police horse down in Sydney," he said. Some in our cosmopolitan desert community who...

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact A local epidemiologist has told The Advocate today that they're preparing to fade away back into academic obscurity as the pandemic ends but warned people that blah blah this won't be the end of it or something like that. Professor Darcy Daley from the South Betoota Polytechnic School of Virology explained that people, especially the...

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact Labor's pick for one of the most multicultural electorates in Australia has been spotted driving her new 1995 Toyota Supra around Cabramatta over the weekend. Kristina Keneally allegedly stalled a number of times and was seen to be granny shifting through the gears, which has sent Labor into damage control this morning. Leader of the Opposition...

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact West Australian Daniel Ricciardo won the Italian Grand Prix overnight in spectacular fashion after two of Formula One's biggest names crashed into each other and out of the race. Pom Lewis Hamilton and Dutch person Max Verstappen collided at the first corner and they were both visibly frustrated by it. It's Ricciardo's eighth win, which he...

EFFIE BATEMAN | BRISBANE | CONTACT A local woman has today pulled the ultimate self comfort con job, after convincing herself the bloke she hadn’t heard from in over a week was obviously fighting his feelings.  Leela Reynolds is said to have gone on three dates with a bloke she met off Bumble and has reportedly fallen pretty hard and fast. Excitedly relaying every minute...

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact The New South Wales Premier Gladys Berejiklian has told the people of her state that her government cannot be fucked doing the 11 am daily press conferences anymore - and that the people who don't like that can just go and get fucked. Gladys also added that she hopes everyone enjoys their picnics next week. "There...

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact According to the purveyors of eternal truth, the ABC, the Division of Fowler is the most economically disadvantaged electorate in Australia - and in an effort to make sure they hold onto the seat at the next election, the party for working Australias is looking to parachute in a rich American who lives on...

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact A report commissioned by the Federal Government into future public health compliance has suggested that the introduction of a Singapore-style autonomous robot snitch would only have a negative outcome for the environment and taxpayers. In recent weeks, a number of robots have been patrolling the streets of Singapore and accosting citizens who have the unfounded...

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact At 61-years-old, Brisbane man Damien Chester knows nearly all of his organs will go in the biowaste bin down the hospital if things go pear-shaped while riding an electric share scooter about town. He said it might be the death wobbles that get him, it might be some hidden stairs. He might end up...