IN-Focus

Brisbane Girl Living In England Now Says “Yeah?” After Every Sentence

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | Contact Born and bred Brisbane girl, Anna Wilson (26) has today unveiled the most embarrassingly contrived faux-English accent since Don Cheadle appeared in the first Ocean's Eleven film. While insisting that she doesn't know what you are talking about, Anna is making a very obvious effort to alter her inflexions and to not finish sentences with the word...

Study Finds 83% Of School Front Office Receptionists Are Named Deb Or Debbie

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | Contact A recent study by the University of Queensland has found that a vast majority of primary and secondary school front office receptionists go by the name of 'Deb'. The research, which was conducted at the St Lucia campus, sampled a school from each local council across both NSW, QLD and WA. UQ Professor Mal Tuqiri says...

Local Culinary Whizz Spends Two Hours Cooking One Of Jamie Oliver’s 15 Minute Meals

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact EACH MORNING BEFORE WORK, Graham Watkins looks at his coconut-flavoured jellybean of a body in the mirror and ponders whether he should wait until his first cardiac episode before he makes any lifestyle changes. Last night, he decided to make a change. The 25-year-old's usual Friday night dinner was more often than not a toasted sandwich,...

31-Year-Old Unsure If His Alcoholism Is Still Legendary – Or It’s Starting To Get Sad

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact There was only one wedding invitation on his fridge in December, now there's seven. It's not because Jack Regent is particularly popular, nor is he being dragged kicking and screaming to them. The 31-year-old has seven wedding invitations on his fridge because he's 31-years-old. But that's not phasing Jack, because he's still a bit of a...

Identity Crisis Peaks As Local Man Arrives At The Pub Wearing 2008 School Rugby Jersey

MURRAY DARHLING | Health & Wellbeing | CONTACT In what has been labelled a desperate cry for help, Hugh Collins-Allen (26) turned up for a night out with friends wearing his Scox Grammar First XV rugby jersey from 2008. Having completely failed to establish any form of adult identity in the preceding seven years, Collings-Allen reportedly chose the jersey ahead of his regular Industrie...

Brisbane man says ‘Sorry Mate’ 72 times in Sydney nightclub

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact Knowing full well what the consequences are for slipping up on a night out in Sydney, Junior Leaupepe spent half of Friday night apologising for entering somebody else's personal space. The 29-year-old Indooroopilly buyer's agent arrived in Sydney late on Friday afternoon, where he was met at the airport by his old mate Dave, who made the...

15-year-old’s life in ruins after watching parents slow dance to ‘Beast of Burden’

16 July, 2016. 13:34 ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact WITH THREE TEENAGE CHILDREN living under their roof, precious moments between quinquagenarian lovebirds David and Amy Davies are few and far between. But just last night, after a nice dinner and a bottle of the second cheapest red on the menu, they came home to find their youngest still awake watching Simpsons reruns. "To...

Greyhounds Join Ibis On CSIRO’s List Of Animals That Have Permission To Become Extinct

11 July, 2016. 11:05 CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | Contact The Baird government's announcement last Thursday that it was shutting down greyhound racing in NSW because of evidence of systemic animal cruelty within the industry, has rendered the extremely unattractive dogs completely useless it has been confirmed. Speaking to The Betoota Advocate today, CSIRO flora and fauna spokeswoman, Les Beehan, says that if it...

Local Man’s New Friendship From The Weekend Bolstered By 140 Of His Closest Mates Liking It

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | Contact After an embarrassing but perfectly executed example of mob mentality, local man Dominic Locke (25), says his chances of entering into a relationship with a bird he met through coworkers are now non-existent. Dominic had only met Ms. Wesser twice before at after-work functions, but following a warm and friendly conversation on Friday night, he felt confident enough to...

Local man unsure if he can donate blood anymore after kissing another local man

14 June, 2016. 16:45 ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact A TWENTY-EIGHT YEAR OLD interior designer is picking up the pieces today after he got a bit carried away with some bloke last night. Matthew Dollarhyde, up until now, has been a keen donator of blood. His AB- blood type is especially rare. "Once I found out I was AB- after a car accident,...

Social

751,318FansLike
603,780FollowersFollow
69,492FollowersFollow

Breaking News