WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT
A family barbecue in Betoota Heights has this week been the scene of a major scientific breakthrough.
Betoota’s wider Curry family has been informed that a long-held and publically proclaimed theory around age, is no more.
Referenced frequently by uncle Phil Curry, the theory was that; “Age is just a number.”
Held in similar standing to Newton’s Laws or Einstein’s theories, the hypothesis was something held by people who are grappling with the fact that their knees and back are semi-permanently fucked.
However, with uncle Phil turning up in a new jet black hairdo to the family barbecue, it can be revealed that age is actually not just a number.
It is something that measures how long you have been on this planet, and how close you may be to death.
Coinciding with the debut of Phil’s 4th girlfriend in the last 12 months, the noticeable contrast between his salad and his facial hair has come as confirmation that the big fella is really starting to feel his age.
Rolling in for a family do with his more settled siblings, the local uncle who is now dating a wannabe influencer/real estate agent, then continued to highlight his mid-life crisis by failing to address the chemically induced elephant in the room.
“New hairstyle Phil,” prodded his shit-stirring younger sister.
“Takes 10 years off you I reckon”
“Looking really youthful,” she giggled, with Phil leaving the table to go and kick the ball with his nieces and nephews, while his family interrogated his new girlfriend.
Phil was unavailable for comment.
More to come.