Prime Minister Scott Morrison has been caught in a bit of strife this afternoon during a Cup Day media appearance.

A popular Cronulla Hotel erupted in cheers earlier today, as the Bloke-In-Chief arrived to with 16 photographers from Sky News and NewsCorp to document him walking into a pub like a normal person.

However, it appears ScoMo found himself a little out of his depth down while trying to put a bet on the Melbourne Cup this afternoon.

After spending close to half an hour in the bullet-proof Prime Ministerial Range Rover ordering his staffers to explain to him what exactly a trifecta is, it seems the Member for Cook was left treading water when he got inside and filled out the slip.

“Oi!!” he venomously whispered at his cultural advisors, as the camera’s snapped.

“Who do I give my slip to?!?”

It seems the devout pentecostal Eastern Suburbs product was unaware that even betting agencies had automated their workforce, before being gently directed to the TAB machine in the corner of the pub.

Luckily for the Prime Minister, he was flanked by Darren and Corey, two former plumbers from Engadine who have been hired in the capacity of ‘cultural advisors’ – two positions that the Prime Minister’s office created during the early stages of the 2019 Federal Election.

Corey and Darren are charged with the responsibility of helping guide Morrison on how to interact with the unwashed pagans in a way that doesn’t make him look like a career bureacrat whose never been pissed.

“Just slide it into that machine, mate. Make sure the barcode is facing up so it gets scanner” says Corey.

“Don’t forget to ask if anyone has any tips.” says Darren.

“Also play up on the fact you might have a slight gambling problem and could be left eating Cornflakes for dinner this week if your horse doesn’t get up”

“The punters will love that”

Morrison then made a dash for the TAB machine, before shaking hands with as many blokes as possible as he finished off his Hahn Light shandy.

He then left the venue and immediately applied hand sanitiser.


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