FRANKIE DeGROOT | Local News | Contact

Commuters at the Betoota South-Northern Interchange were in shock this week after it was revealed the inebriated man who constantly staggers around Platform 17 asking people what their problem is may not actually be a qualified psychologist after all.

“I was horrified. It’s such an invasion of privacy” said a shocked Eugene Pascoline, 48.

“I was on my way home from work and as I walked past him I must have glanced at him because he’s gone “Oi! What’s your fuckin problem mate?” I thought it was really refreshing because mental health professionals are usually very expensive, and here he was offering to listen to my problems for free, in a convenient informal setting.”

However, no sooner had Eugene stretched out on a bench and started to talk about his childhood when the first questions about the apparent psychologist’s background arose.

“I told him about my dad walking out when I was 5, and not really having an emotional connection with my stepdad. Then I discussed how Mum wasn’t really interested in my academic performance, which I feel might be behind why I was such an angry child” explained Eugene “but when I looked up he wasn’t even taking notes, he was just staring at me”.

Witness Gina Farrah says she also had questions about the man’s credentials. “I watched him enquire about the guy’s problems, but it seemed a bit unprofessional, asking people personal questions in public. Plus he was drinking out of a paper bag which was unusual”.

Eugene stated other factors also led him to wonder about the mystery man’s background.

“I was talking about my need for acceptance by my peers and asking whether it could be connected to the bullying I experienced in primary school but all he said was “the fuck are you talking about?”.

“So I started to elaborate but he started asking other people what their problems were, and I thought we were going to have some group therapy. Then he pissed his pants and I realised he was probably not a qualified psychologist after all. I do feel a bit better though”.    


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