A fresh-faced and squeaky clean graduate engineer has raised eyebrows this afternoon after sparking a PJ Gold onsite. 23 yo Dustin Willoughby was seen with eyes closed inhaling deeply on the premium cigarette before exhaling with a cathartic “Ahh”.
Site Foreman Shane Saunders was first to voice the sentiments of the mixed-trade bridge construction crew.
“Fuck me Dusty, I didn’t know you were on the burners. How long’s this been going on chief? He said, elated at the chance to rib the young Site Manager.
An agitated Mr Willoughby was unfazed by the jeers and sideways looks and explained to the Advocate that he had bigger problems.
“It’s just a durry” he said.
“Most of the boys here pull through a 20 pack before knock off. Gaz has been offering me a durry every day since we got onsite. He thinks he’s being funny or something. I’m only human mate, I love a weekend dart or 30” he laughed.
“Anyway I usually have no problem keeping the ol’ oxygen sticks for Friday through Sunday but today I’ve finally cracked”.
Mr Willoughby went on to explain the cause of his break with protocol.
“Some mouth breather has driven straight through my fucking worksite and ploughed his Hertz Hiace into the oncoming Betta milk truck. How the fuck this has happened I don’t know; there’s more signs out there than a deaf communication conference.” Mr Willoughby continued, gesturing to the road.
“Now I’ve got bits of van spread across two lanes and a bloke who doesn’t speak English on the nature strip bleeding from the head like he’s in Kill Bill 2 or something”
“It’s basically my worst nightmare, might as well enjoy a ciggy before they cart me off to jail”
As trades assistant Garry fired up the STIHL blower and attempted to clear some of the debris, Mr Willoughby was seen leaning against the site shed with his hands cupped trying to light his second cigarette from his first.
