Liberal MP Tim Smith has received some welcome good news today, with revelations that a mate of his dad is going to sort him out.

The Member for the toff suburb of Kew has managed to snag a high flying barrister to help make all this drink driving stuff go away.

“He’s gonna get me the Scotch College Section 8,” said an excited Smith, referencing the section which allows people who can pay good lawyers to get off without having their conviction recorded.

“Dad says he’s going to make this whole thing go away,” said the former pupil of the elite inner Melbourne private school.

This comes as the aspiring leader of the Victorian Liberal Party who wanted to be Premier more than anything else in the whole world is set to face court, after getting pissed and drink driving on Saturday night.

Smith blew .131, more than twice the legal limit after getting sauced with mates and getting behind the wheel and crashing his car into a Hawthorn home.

The loudmouth MP who has spent a couple of years loudly attacking public health measures, said that he ‘didn’t eat much during the day and thought he was perfectly fine to drive.’

Some party sources have claimed he was ‘smashing cocktails’ at a dinner before deciding that the rules don’t apply to him, especially when he decides to risk lives by drink driving.

He has subsequently lost his job on the front bench and was told by close friend and leader Matthew Guy to just walk away from politics at the next election.

However, all of the lefties who want a rich white ex-private schoolboy to face accountability have been told to just woo up a little bit, with Smith revealing noted Queens Counsellor Geoffrey Michael-Smith will be looking after him.

“Dad reckons Geoffrey will know the magistrate and will be able to get this thing all tidied up for me,” Smith chortled with glee.

“He’ll put forward a strong case, say that I had something traumatic happen to me, promise that I’ll do some course and then talk about how bad this is for my career”

“And the old judge on the other side of the room will just tick the box”

“That’s how these things work for people who come from the ruling class”

“Stupid lefties don’t realise I know how to make the system work me”

“It was just a mistake that I got caught, get over it”

“The show goes on” he laughed.

More to come.


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