As nurses all around Australia begin to heavily rethink the profession they were once deeply passionate about, one overworked nurse in Betoota Ponds is finally starting to see a silver lining – a 3.5 billion dollar purchase agreement for 120 army tanks.

A bubbly Shannon Wheeler [27] told The Advocate that after a nightmare few weeks of double shifts, little to no sleep, and the impending sense of doom watching the ICU beds fill to max capacity – it was nice to finally see some proof that the government actually gave a shit about the future of Australia.

“It was a big relief”, says a red eyed Shannon as she rubs at a permanent mask indentation on her right cheek.

“I was beginning to think we’d been completely left by the wayside.”

“We’re dropping like flies, leaving the few nurses left to work to the point of breakdown.” 

“Everyone’s so overrun, even paramedics are finding it hard to deploy ambulances in time.”

Adding that she’s concerned about the rapid filling of beds, Shannon says that when hospitals do reach max capacity, that means capacity for everyone – not just covid patients.

“I mean, I don’t mean to be dire, but you better hope your grandma doesn’t have a fall in the next few weeks, that’s all I’m saying.”

Laughing hysterically as she snorts a line of no doze to stay awake, Shannon says she thought the government had abandoned everyone when she heard of the new tank agreement.

“Thank god, I know our country is going through a war with the spicy cough right now, but it hasn’t been in an actual physical war in a while. Guess that means we’re due for one, right?”

“I’m so glad we’ve been able to scrape together some money to fund obsolete defence equipment instead of RATS, food shortages or helping kids get back to school.”

“At least the boys have some toys to distract themselves with for a while.” 

More to come.


Please enter your comment!
Please enter your name here