EFFIE BATEMAN | BRISBANE | CONTACT
A local bloke has today been body-shamed after he was seen teetering on a flimsy bar stool at the pub, it’s reported.
Nick Wood  says that he’d been enjoying a glass of beer with his mates at the Shifty Hen when the bar manager signalled for him to hop off the stool. Attempting to reinforce the chair with a makeshift coaster wedge, which failed to make any difference under Nick’s weight, the stool was quickly swapped for a high backed dining chair – much to the amusement of his mates who were stoked to have even more ammo on the big guy.
Speaking to our reporter over a plate of beer-battered chips, Nick reckons it was all just a bit of a laugh and he’s fine, honestly.
“For the record, I’m not fat, I’m just dirty bulking”, insists Nick as he shovels a handful of chips into his gob, “it’ll help me put on muscle quicker.”
“Like I can get fit at any time, I’m the type of bloke who only needs to look at a weight and I’ll get ripped. Haha honestly not bothered.”
“I go to the gym heaps, it’s just water retention haha.”
Despite these protestations, Nick’s mates can confirm that he’s been to the gym maybe once in the past two months and that he mostly just sat on the hip sled the entire time.
More to come.