A young man from Betoota Ponds is today dreaming about his future.

The 15-year-old Betoota Ponds High Student explained to our humble regional newspaper that he’s feeling optimistic about what lies ahead.

The son of a nurse at Royal Betoota Base Hospital and a forklift driver at South Betoota Logistics, Brendon Thomas says he can’t wait to get his hands on one of those RM Williams Rugby Balls.

“Bro, I felt like they were made for me,” laughed the public school kid about the rugby balls that cost as much as his dad pulls home a week after tax.

“All the kids in school are itching to get one,” said Brendon, about his school mates who don’t even know what the fuck Rugby Union is.

Brendon’s comments come after RM Williams collaborated with the Wallabies to release some kit that could only appeal to the few well-healed school boys who still follow the silver spoon game.

The move has come as a reminder to the nation that the geniuses who run the game have absolutely zero interest in appealing to the grass roots outside the handful of private schools in Sydney and Brisbane.

“Hey, we ran a couple of school rugby workshops,” explained one Rugby Australia insider in reference to the hand full of workshops that were run in private school boarding heartland or the Sunshine Coast/Byron hinterland (aka an excuse for the players and staff to get a nice little overnighter in a beach town).

“And this new line of merch is perfect for real fans,” he laughed.

“Like the sons of surgeons, doctors and graziers who own land the size of Tasmania.”

Despite the lack of interest in growing the game outside the leafy suburbs, Betoota Ponds High teen Brendon says he feels like he could support this game forever.

“Look, my dad is weirdly affiliated with the code from the glory days when people actually knew about the game.”

“And I actually like the game purely in the way it’s played, so despite being ignored by every facet of the game’s management, I’m going to save up my pennies from my next 24 arvo IGA shifts and get one of those balls that will kick worse then the free Sherrin I was given a couple of months ago.”

More to come.


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