ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact
The son of a Betoota Heights escalator technician turned his nose up at dinner last night, complaining to his parents that the pasta dish put before him “wasn’t real carbonara”.
Declan Phillips, a Year 8 student at the Greens Road State School, made the remarks to his mother shortly before 7pm last night. Just has his father, Tony, came back from work.
Household matriarch, Wendy, worked the night shift at Betoota Base Hospital last night so her fuse was arguably shorter than Tony’s at that particular point in time.
“This sucks, it isn’t real carbonara,” said Declan as all four of his parent’s eye brows rolled up to their hairlines.
“At Mitch’s house, his Dad grates fresh Parmesan in a bowl and uses real guanciale instead of whatever this white muck is. Did you put tomato sauce in this? There’s no traces of egg yolk. They even make their own fresh pasta, as a family, on Mondays and keep it for week night dinners,”
“This tastes like glue, Mum.”
Wendy pursed her lips and nodded.
“That’s because Mitch’s dad makes documentaries for a living. As far as I know, he’s never actually made one,” said Wendy.
Tony sat down and sighed.
“His mother is an Overell, too. She would’ve inherited millions so she’s never really worked, either. They own all the newspapers in Betoota. So when you have all that time, you can spent it making the fancy carbonara or whatever,” he said.
“Unfortunately, you haven’t got the same parents as Mitchell so that means you need to thank your mother for the nice dinner and eat it. Even if it does taste a bit like glue.”
More to come.