As the allegations of severe sexual assault and harassment from Liberal Party ministers and staffers continue to mount up, the Prime Minister has today had to face the music.

Morrison fought back tears as he pledged to improve the treatment of women in Parliament, once again bringing up his wife and daughters in an effort to present himself as someone who believes that women are humans.

Australians of all political leanings exhaled this morning as our Prime Minister finally brought some common sense and decency to the conversation.

The PM said he was stunned and disgusted after it was revealed Coalition staffers were accused of filming and sharing sex acts in Parliament House, the type of behaviour he never would have expected to come from the little fucking nerds who join the Young Liberal Party in their first year of Law School after a charmed life as the class prefect in the elite politicians factories in Sydney and Melbourne’s most affluent suburbs.

However, Morrison did not hold this same measured tone throughout the entire press conference.

Upon being asked a question he didn’t like by a Sky News editor, the PM lost his temper, as he often does in a crisis – and snapped back with allegations of sexual misconduct complaints within NewsCorp.

Australians are once again relieved that this spiralling government has been brought under control by our humble leader and his competent cabinet Ministers.

This was epitomised by today’s remarks, that effectively saw the PM outing a sexual harassment complainant during a live press conference, while at the same time firing a shot at the only media allies he has left.

“Be careful” Morrison warned the journalist, who works in the engine room of the conservative Murdoch media machine that got him elected in the first place.

“People in glass houses, mate”

It is not yet known who will replace him, but this lapse of judgement now means Scott Morrison will not be Prime Minister for much longer.


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