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A government plan to make Mathematics compulsory for Year 11 and 12 students has been slammed by a startling 107% of the student body in a self-reported study.

According to the report, which included students from both Asian and non-Asian backgrounds, only minus 7 percent of students disagreed that maths should not be compulsory as part of years 11 and 12.

David Haggle, Maths Head Teacher at Betoota High School, said the results actually show how important maths is in the real world: “Anything higher than 100% is a statistical impossibility so, if anything, what this study shows is that Maths is under-represented in the curriculum and deserves greater attention. I mean, without a solid understanding of maths, we’ll be graduating kids that lack the type of numerical acumen that is essential in the real world for simple tasks such as maintaining a household budget or compiling a study in which the number of responses somehow exceeds the number of respondents”.

However, Year 11 student Otis Whiteman respectfully disagrees. “Nah man, that’s bullshit. The number was so high because Maths sucks balls”.

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