WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT
The man aspiring to lead the country back on track has had quite the end to his working week.
With his electorate filling sandbags and battening down the hatches, Opposition Leader Peter Dutton has unfortunately been ruled out of action pretty early.
After a big week of flying down to host functions with hospitality billionaires and lunch with wealthy property developers, Peter Dutton has now been confined to his electoral office.
However, despite his staff being happy that he’s actually back in Dickson, he’s now unable to lend any assistance to the disaster effort.
This comes after his team were forced to taser and handcuff him following a seemingly innocuous session on the laptop.
“We caught him looking at Flight Centre,” said one exhausted staff member after the struggle.
“He had a Honolulu Package sitting in his cart, departing this weekend.”
“So we had to take affirmative action, and fast.”
“We can’t have a repeat of the bush fires,” he sighed in reference to the time the Prime Minister went on holiday in Hawaii while the country burnt, then lied about not being able to come home, then was forced to come home before blaming everyone else and saying he ‘didn’t hold a hose.’
Peter Dutton, was obviously unavailable for comment, but his staffers asked as to write something about Albanese playing politics with the election date during a national emergency.
