LOUIS BURKE | Culture | CONTACT

In what will be a big win for the Queensland economy and lovers of the morally grey touching of strangers, QLD Premier Annastacia Palaszczuk has given the nod for naked foam parties to take place in Fortitude Valley following a Maroon Victory in State of Origin game 3. 

The origin decider will be played at Suncorp Stadium to the biggest crowd at a sporting event since COVID-19 was declared a pandemic by the World Health Organisation.

The increase of stadium capacity to 100% was allowed by Palaszczcuk and has drawn criticism from the sorts of people who sledged her for not opening borders and theatre performers who are wondering when they are getting the same treatment as the jocks.

Not only is it believed the increased crowd will give the Queensland Maroons the edge to win the 2020 State of Origin series, the incentive of naked foam parties following a series victory will push fans to go a little harder.

“Queenslanders have done well to get through this virus, I believe we have earnt the right cut shapes in the nuddy to celebrate getting another one over the southerners,” stated Ms Palaszczuk during a meeting with a team of scientists who are developing the ideal shade of Maroon to add to the government subsidised foam machines.

At the time of writing, it is believed the QLD Premier is drafting a text to send to NSW Premier Gladys Berijiklian, either a ‘foamo/FOMO’ based pun or just a simple ‘suck shit!’

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