A septuagenarian from our town’s aspirational Betoota Heights district has today been left scratching his head.

Brian Smith, now 3 weeks into his membership at Legends Gym Betoota, says he can’t quite wrap around his head around his new personal trainer.

6 sessions into a new exercise program catered at helping him build strength as he ages into his finer years, Smith says his new Drill Sargent has some interesting methods.

“Look he’s told me some interesting things,” sighed Brian.

“Like about how I can strengthen my muscular skeletal system to ensure I don’t have mishaps as I move forward.”

“And how Cold Baths are apparently like consuming cocaine.”

“And he seems like he really wants me to be the fittest version of myself, whilst understanding that I still want to consume a few glasses of wine here and there and enjoy the nicer things in life.”

“But, I’ve been catching a few glimpses of his sessions before and after mine, and something’s up.”

“Stretching is a big part of the work out. So he goes on his phone while I stretch for 10 minutes or so, which I thought was fair enough.”

“However, with some of the other clients, he seems to quite a bit more hands on,” laughed Brian.

“Like one of the young ladies he looks after, he’s very adamant about making sure she feels that stretch through her glutes and quads.”

“And the 40 something fitness mummy is always getting a gentle activation of the shoulders and lower back.”

“I mean, I’m okay with not being touched personally, but I just wonder if I’m missing out on something?”

The Advocate contacted the PT in question, but were politely told to ‘get ‘ucked’ given our history of reporting on PTs.

More to come.


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