In some breaking news, the NRL has issued a stern statement to all of it’s non-finals bound players this morning – up your game.

This follows the Adelaide Crows nabbing some headlines over the last 24 hours after a couple of its players were alleged stung with some ‘illicit substances.’

With 8 NRL teams out of finals contention and more importantly out of the COVID bubble, there was plenty of fireworks expected yesterday, on what was supposed to be Mad Monday.

However, with the Daily Telegraph’s printing presses suspiciously quiet and Bulldogs players donating their Mad Monday to helping a charity, the NRL Offseason is off to an extremely limp start.

“The boys need to lift here,” said Saint Peter V’Landys this morning.

“Our game is a publicity monster, we dominate the news cycle all year round, and I’m disappointed that we’ve let the lesser code get the jump on us to be quite frank.”

“Everyone knows how crucial it is to keep the publicity up during the offseason.”

“I mean, it pains me to know that the toff who runs that code would be feeling pleased with himself this morning.”

“Some videos, a piss on the street, an altercation with an Uber driver, anything will do.”

“Lift boys.”



Please enter your comment!
Please enter your name here