LOUIS BURKE | Culture | CONTACT

Contractor Owen Green (33) has been accused of the hypocrisy of the highest order, as his NO FEAR bumper sticker seems to be completely at odds with his opinion on immigrants.

An avid bumper sticker collector, Green has hidden the rust on his red land cruiser ute with a collection of stickers that seem to predate tolerance entirely.

“If this offends you, youse [sic] can get fucked,” stated Green, gesturing towards the rear of his ute, caked so densely with stickers that he likely has zero rear view visibility.

“Huntin’, fishin’, rootin’, what’s wrong with that?”

Featuring stickers of evil clowns, skulls making obscene hand gestures, the murder of a MY FAMILY sticker family and the mandatory RM Williams longhorn, the rear of Green’s ute is a tour de force of messages that resonate with people who think political correctness is a threat to democracy, whatever that may be.

However, the sticker that has caused the most controversy is one that simply reads NO FEAR, which friends of Green point out is an interesting choice for a man who looks like a terrified widow every time the topic of immigrants is brought up.

“Oi, nah, they’re gonna try and take my job but,” stated Green, forgetting he has several colleagues who are immigrants that he likes as they’re ‘one of the good ones’ according to him.

“I’m not afraid of them, I just don’t want them near me. Are there any near me right now? Why did you bring this up, I wanted to have a nap today, fuck me.”

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