A new report released today has confirmed that all sport for children that involves any potential form of contact should be banned.

The scientific study revealed that any form of activity that could lead to a ‘child touching another child, falling over, bumping into something, or getting hit by something’ should no longer be allowed.

“The potential for a child to get hurt, or injure themselves should be avoided at all cost,” explained the lead researcher of the Betoota Underage Body Behaviour Life Ergonomics (BUBBLE) Study.

“Children need to be playing outside and not looking at screens all day, but it’s crucial that they also don’t go outside and hurt themselves. Even if a mild injury might be crucial to their developmental phase of life.”

The report has revealed that Soccer, Hockey, Rugby League, Rugby Union, Aussie Rules, Tennis, Touch Football, Cricket, Boxing, Baseball, Athletics, and Cycling should all be banned for children under the age of 18.

“Swimming is still an option though, how good’s that!”

The calls are set to anger everyone over the age of 50 and anyone who enjoys playing sport.

More to come.


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