FRANKIE DeGROOT | Local News | Contact

A young father has stumbled across an ingenious method which can be used to double or even triple the length of a regular, all-too-short weekend.  

“I could never get anything done in just two days” explained Lachlan Murray, 24.

“After taking the kids to swimming lessons, mowing the lawn, and at least one kiddy birthday party, there’s just no time left. But I noticed when my 2-year-old was watching that terrible Dora the Explorer show, it was like time stood still. Suddenly 5 minutes felt like forever, and each episode just would not end”.  

To test his theory, Lachlan put the DVD into a portable DVD player, which he carried with him for the entire weekend, with incredible results.  

“It was crazy. It just dragged on and on. By the time Dora went to the Magic Forest to get a basket of fruit for a party I had already mowed the lawn and cleaned out the gutters. Then, Swiper stole the fruit and Dora needed to get it back to take it to the party, but by this stage I had already washed and vacuumed the car and scooped the leaves out of the pool.”  

However, Lachlan’s wife Sarah, 22, says the technique is dangerous and Lachlan has been banned from using his signature hack.  

“He’s got heaps of stuff done; I’ll give him that. Last Sunday he designed and built a gazebo in 3 hours. But he is not the same; he is constantly on edge that someone will swipe his things. He repeats everything a dozen times and sometimes he randomly speaks Spanish for no reason. I would definitely not recommend a Dora the Explorer marathon; it really is a surprisingly shithouse program that will drive anyone loco. Plus Dora is following an existing map, so technically she isn’t exploring jack shit”.   


Please enter your comment!
Please enter your name here