After nearly a week of radio silence from the Prime Minister’s office, there is growing fears that Scotty From Marketing may have made the most of the NSW school holidays and ducked off for a week with Jenny and the girls.

Morrison, who hasn’t been seen since his early by-election campaigning in Eden-Monaro, had previously mentioned he was going to be completely uncontactable during Melbourne’s devastating second wave of COVID-19 cases.

Journalists from right across NSW have been sent out to check luxury beach resorts in Wollongong, Kingscliff and the state’s Central Coast – as news networks scramble to find the most ‘Hawaii-like’ domestic holiday destination that the Morrisons might have chosen to visit during this particular disaster.

Victoria has today begun a six week lock down, as community transmissions of COVID-19 begin edging near new 200 cases a day.

With Victoria on the brink of an uncontrollable epidemic, the nation is really hoping that the big fella has skipped town again, like he did during the bushfires in December.

“Surely not” says staunch LNP voter, Kenneth Barry (66, panel beater) from Betoota Heights.

“I wouldn’t put it past him, but it would be very disappointing if he had”

Another increasingly frustrated supporter of Morrison, Barbara Debson (45, real estate) says that while she’s been impressed with the government’s response to COVID-19 thus far, she doesn’t have much confidence in a Prime Minister that runs away every time things get a bit to tricky.

“Oh come on Scotty” she snarls.

“This is not a good look. Get it together”

With Labor retaining the NSW seat of Eden-Monaro through preferences from the Shooters and Fishers at last weekend’s by-election, the chances of Morrison spitting the dummy and taking a week to sook on a beach chair for a week are very likely.

Morrison’s office have vaguely denied claims that he has gone on holidays again in the middle of a national emergency, however this doesn’t mean shit, because they flat out lied to the media last time he did it – and he would have gotten away with it too if he hadn’t been photographed by surfers on Waikiki Beach.

However, at time of press, it was Victorian Premier Daniel Andrews who was being grilled for Melbourne’s second wave – after the hotel quarantine system that he masterminded, which seemed to work in every other state, failed to neutralise the virus spread in the cold southern country.



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