WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | Contact

In a somewhat odd turn of events, the Australian Labor Party has confirmed today that they will be borrowing a media technique from Tony Abbott.

While they won’t be defending and referring to convicted pedophiles as close personal friends, all Federal Labor Members, Senators and candidates have been told to borrow the old Tony Abbott head shake and say nothing response to questions you don’t want to answer.

The technique was first developed by Abbott in 2011 when being interviewed by Channel 7’s Mark Riley.

Facing some tough questions, Abbott decided to simply zip his lips, shake his head and remain mute for a period of time, prompting the famous ‘You’re not saying anything Tony,’ prodding from Riley.

In the wake of Bill Shorten’s interview with Leigh Sales last night, and the fast moving front wheel of a pushbike into a deep pothole that was the Cathy O’Toole interview this morning, the Labor party have informed everyone to adopt the ‘Abbott shake’ anytime they face questions on Adani.

“We are desperately trying to get through these next couple of weeks without offering an actual position on one of the greatest ever desecrations of the country’s environment, and so anytime we get asked about it we are going to just sit there awkwardly until the reporter moves on,” said a Labor insider.

“It’s not worth risking anything by actually offering a stance on something that could jeopardise votes in crucial seats in Queensland if you know what I mean.”

“Ultimately, it doesn’t matter if the whole mine is as short sighted as pensioner without glasses, we’ve got any election to win.”


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