LOUIS BURKE | Culture | CONTACT
Sydney resident and certified fibber Neil Bilby (29) has been caught lying today by saying he cannot wait for the gyms to reopen.
As of October 11, Bilby will be one of many double jabbed residents who will enjoy increased freedoms meaning he will be able to visit his family, have friends over and maybe, if he has time, visit the gym.
After over 100 days of lockdown that saw the doors of gyms close across Sydney and Melbourne, Bilby is one of the hundreds of thousands of Australians who have let their health decline a bit without access to a gym as the ultimate excuse.
Now that he will soon be free to go out and about again, Bilby says there is no place he would rather be than the gym, lying to his friends, his family and himself.
“I can’t wait for the gyms to reopen!” lied Bilby for no reason.
“I’m just really looking forward to going out again.”
Speaking with The Advocate, Bilby doubled down and states he is not lying about his desire to return to the gym and start a new strict diet in order to speed run into a summer body.
“I feel so unfit! I’ve been sitting inside every day eating hummus! I need to get back out there!”
When asked why he didn’t ever go for a run during lockdown, Bilby lied again and said he didn’t know that was allowed.