A local bloke has generously offered to host kick-ons at his, though it’s highly unlikely anyone will take him up on his offer.

Anthony Porter [22] was reportedly out with his mates at prominent valley nightclub when the lights had flicked on to signal it was time to go home and reflect upon your decisions.

However, much like every other twenty something stuck in a dead-end job, Anthony was keen to keep the night rolling on for as long as possible to stave off the inevitable Monday.

As everyone had mindlessly milled about the taxi rank and looked at one another with a mixture of desolate hope and regret, Anthony had thoughtfully taken the reins and suggested kick ons at his home located in the outer suburbs – which was reportedly met with awkward silence and shuffling of feet.

Speaking to a member of the friend group, our reporter learns the maximum amount of distance allowed for kick-ons.

“I personally won’t travel anything more than fifteen minutes out of the CBD”, says Alicia Whitmore [21].

“Twenty minutes if they’ve got a pool.”

“If you choose to live in the suburbs that’s your own problem.”

Alicia adds that she even goes one step further, and tends not to be friends with people who live ‘anywhere further than Toowong.’

More to come.


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