A local group of mates are up in arms today after the news broke about the new national security laws being passed by parliament.

The new laws mean that national security agencies will be able to intercept messages on encrypted apps and platforms in an effort to crack down on terrorism and serious criminal activity.

While the move has been justified by both major parties due to the fact that 95% of people being watched by national spy agencies use an encrypted messaging service, a group of friends are not happy.

Ben Derwin, a spokesperson for the group chat ‘Benny’s Bender Boiz’ explained that the far-reaching new laws are of grave concern to him and his immediate friendship circle.

“It’s fucked that the government can intercept the messages that we are sending,” he said.

Despite the fact that the most criminal things taking place in the group are the use of the word ‘Yewwwwww,’ the quality of some deep fried memes, and the odd drug possession related video, Derwin is adamant that his civil liberties are being infringed.

“It’s fucked man, what’s next?” he asked as if anyone at ASIO could give a single fuck about his mate’s depraved bender videos and cooked late night chat.

“I don’t know, yeah they might say they are going after terrorists and stuff, but what’s stopping them from nabbing me for doing a fat slug in the group chat?”

We told him that we weren’t in a position to offer legal advice, but explained that there are 25+ million people in the country and that they probably weren’t going to bother reading through his scat group chat unless there were some fucked buzzwords in there.








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