In an extraordinary move, God has been issued with a $220 fine for “gross breaches of Level 2 Water Restrictions” as a direct consequence of the massive deluge which has recently struck the east coast.

“We are serious about Water Restrictions and nobody is immune, not even on religious grounds,” said Minister for Water, Property and Housing Melinda Pavey in a press conference on the suspiciously green lawns of parliament house earlier this week.

“What we are seeing here is a gross breach of the highest order; so many hard surfaces were washed and almost no buckets or pressure washers were involved.”

“I mean, we’re not talking one or two cars being washed here. Lots of cars were washed. Lots. I know God is important to a lot of people but as a member of the LNP obviously I can’t be seen to be giving special consideration to certain people; or religious entities”.

God was unavailable for comment, but as the press conference ended prematurely when it was suddenly replaced with a smoking crater in the ground, we would like to add that the Minister’s opinions are not necessarily shared by the staff of this publication.


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