Following last weekend’s shocking election result, pearl clutching lefties across the country were given even more reason to hate the Murdoch Empire.

Not only had News Corp spent the last two years working day and night to besmirch the good name of their dear Geoffrey Rush, but they also utilised their 70% national media marketshare to shoe-horn another Morrison government back into power.

The latter of course, being the true travesty. Because as anyone who earns enough money to live in the inner-city and still vote for the Greens knows, Geoffrey Rush is innocent of the accusations made against him by uppity little princesses who were just trying to make a name for themselves in the lucrative business of stage theatre.

However, the shattered left-wing voters of Australia can today at least find solace in the small mercies. With the darling Geoffrey holding the establishment to account for their lying ways.

In a reported landmark win, Geoffrey Rush has been awarded $2.9 million in his defamation case against News Corp, owned by Rupert Murdoch. The largest payout to a single person in Australian history. After months of court proceedings and a number young women being once again humiliated both in person and on the record by Geoffrey’s elite criminal barristers.

The initial ruling was handed down by an old leathery judge who looks about Geoffrey’s age, and also looks like he loved the movie Shine, decided an alleged female victim of Geoffrey Rush’s alleged misconduct, was taking a few liberties in saying that she felt creeped out by him, from her perspective, and therefore the newspaper was wrong to say he was a creep.

These revelations are welcomed by the nation’s inner-city elite, who only have time for the #MeToo movement when it involves low-brow media figures like Don Burke.

“These allegations are very serious. I think we should be very careful before we condemn him” says one Balmain resident, Bronte Drummoyne (33).

“It’s not like he’s an NRL player… The Daily Telegraph can’t just go around writing things like that about people like our Geoffrey”

“Personally, I think this is great news. At least Our Geoffrey had a win against the brutish News Corp”

“It almost feels as though Bill Shorten didn’t lose the election by record-breaking swing against the Labor Party.”

Another staunch lover of films and the ABC, West End-based lino-printer Wyatt Elight (44) says he’s glad Geoffrey got his day in court. Against the villianous News Corp empire, no less.

“Who would have known the pay-out you get from being wrongly portrayed as a sexual deviant would be more than any victim of sexual assault has ever received”

“Thanks to Geoffrey, we have the last laugh!”

“David has finally slain Goliath”


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