WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT
The history books are currently being altered this weekend, after a momentous 130ish minutes in Brisbane last night.
With the nation tuning into the second most viewed sporting event in the last few decades, confirmation has come through that Scott Morrison was a genius all along.
A couple of years after upsetting the French by refusing to give them 100s of billions of dollars for some shitty sub standard submarines, Scott Morrison has finally been vindicated.
The incredible piece of mental manipulation came to a crescendo last night, as Cortnee Vine sunk the winning penalty against France.
The 20th penalty of the gruelling shootout saw the Matildas reach the semi-finals of World Cup, the first time the nation has made it this far in a tournament for a sport played by more than a few countries.
Vine’s penalty, after some incredible saves by Macca Arnold, sent the nation in raptures with millions going wild after one of the most nerve-wracking sports events for Australia ever.
The winning penalty also came as a massive pat on the back for former Prime Minister Scott Morrison, who has been waging mental warfare against the French for some years.
While many in the media unfairly targeted the former Prime Minister, we can now all universally hail Morrison for the genius that is.
“Everyone was playing international checkers, and Scotty was out here playing 3d Chess,” explained one Tillies fan last night.
“I hate to say it, but he knew all along what he was doing.”
“He’s a genius, and now we are going to a semi-final in a major tournament.”
More to come.