KEITH T. DENNETT | New South | CONTACT
Christmas is a time for family, sharing and tragedy today as an entire family starved to death waiting for a few chatty aunties to shut up and unwrap their presents.
The unnamed aunties, who are already known to local police, reportedly had a history of over-organising Christmas to the point that most family members did most of their actual celebrating on December 27th.
During the allegedly fun game of Secret Santa, which was unceremoniously played before lunch this year, the two particularly chatty aunties held the game up so severely that lunch time never arrived.
“It is believed that either aunty initially wanted the other to be the first to open their present, which after some back and forth it was agreed it would be done at the same time,” stated Betoota Police Chief of Christmas Crimes, Magnus Borton.
“However it appears both of the aunts, or aunties, took so long to unwrap their presents that by the time their presents were revealed all of their relatives had starved to death.”
“Part of the long unwrapping time is believed to be caused by a new initiative the aunties had introduced of trying to preserve the wrapping paper for a second use. We believe our suspects got that idea from an environmentally friendly art magazine or from a meme with one of those custom avatars in it.”
The Advocate encourages our readers to buy cheap wrapping paper this Christmas or just give people cash in an envelope.
