EFFIE BATEMAN | BRISBANECONTACT

Local student Beth Thomas swore to herself that she’d never start an assignment on the day it was due ever again.

This promise was as a result of her last assignment mishap, which saw her experiencing an unprecedented amount of anxiety as she tried to smash out 1200 words on the fall of the Roman empire in just four hours.

Though she’d been able to scrape by with a C, her overall grading score for the term now lies heavily on nabbing a B- or higher for her last essay, ‘Caligula and his reign of terror.’

See, Beth had mistakenly thought if she chose a topic that appealed to her morbid side, that she’d be more inclined to do the research.

However, the only piece of information that Beth has been able to retain was Caligula’s sexual proclivities and his strange relationship with her horse – though she doubted his 65 year old ancient history teacher Ms Watts would appreciate those tidbits.

“In this essay, I will provide a detailed analysis of why I believe Caligula was the cruelest roman emperor”, types Beth.

“Furthermore, I will explore the reasons behind his brutality, and whether his actions were a result of mental illness, traumatic life events, or a combination of the two.’

“Caligula was….”

Checking to see how many words she’s able to clock in the past half hour, Beth is disappointed to discover she’s averaging one word a minute – which means it’s very unlikely she’ll make it before 12am.

Torn between padding the document with some line spacing and 12.5 font, Beth resorts to copying and pasting an essay she found on the internet and rearranging the sentence with some synonym changes.

More to come.

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